Sunday, July 31, 2011

Fisherman & Moe: The Insinuation

Okay... so while moving in... these two dudes came to uncrate our high valued items (grandfather clock, huge mirrors, paintings, put together the treadmill, curio cabinet.. ok you get the idea).  It was like a father-son team.  The old dude looked something like a fisherman from The Deadliest Catch, and his son looked like Moe from the Three Stooges.  Everything seemed to be going smoothly... they arrived early and seemed capable of doing the job.  Yeeaaa... well... it went south... quickly.  It's like... are people retarded??!!  Don't f*ck with a pregnant woman in her own home.  I can't stand rudeness... especially now.  Okay.. so here is what caused me to flip...

I've had a place for the grandfather clock picked out for weeks.  It's going right in the foyer... by the front door... near the staircase.  Ok, so this father and son team should respect that right??  Umm... shall I remind everyone that it is MY home?!?!  If I want that clock in the middle of the f*ckin kitchen, then these losers should just do it!  SO... old man fisherman says, "Well, I don't think this is a good place for this clock.  Usually they don't work well near the front door."  I said, "Okay... well I'm sure it will work considering it was near the front door in my home in Indiana."  After he gives me a horrible look, I say,"Plus, it's really just a pretty piece.  I have never once looked at it for the time."  I chuckle .... thinking he would just go with my upbeat attitude regarding MY clock.  He just said, "Ok, whatever." 

He goes to get more parts or ya know... something.  I left the room, and he returned with Moe ...I mean his son.  Anyway... he runs to my husband and tells him that this isn't a good spot for the clock.  Brian yells for me to come in there.  [Old fisherman really tried to get my husband to place the clock elsewhere.... as if they MUST be on the same team regarding this clock issue since they are all MEN.  Oh please.  This haggard fisherman better recognize.  I rule this home.  This isn't a man's world around here... it's Sam's world dammit!]  So, as I was saying, Brian yells for me (the ruler of the Herington household).  As I walk into the room, the father-son team clearly don't recognize that the queen of the household has just entered the damn room, and they should kneel before me. I decide to let it slide ;) 

The old fisherman that is now sweating through his shirt says, "I don't know about this clock being here.  I mean what if someone falls down the stairs?  They could break the glass on the clock.  And... if someone slams the front door open, it might hit the clock."  (side note: to fall down our staircase and fall into the clock.. lol that would have to be like a serious someone pushed me down the stairs attempting to kill type of fall.)  So, I said, "Ummm... if someone has THAT kind of fall, then we will have bigger issues than broken glass.  Plus, I already thought about the door opening situation."  He snapped back with, "Well if you really thought of it... how come you didn't say anything before?"  I immediately got annoyed.  I said, "There was no reason to say anything.. it's not an issue."  So, he says, "well kids could slam the door open and break the clock."  I immediately think he is talking about my step-kids, and I get very shitty with him.  I said, "Who just throws a door open like that and slams things?"  (here is the deal.... I can talk about my step-kids but YOU can't!  I'm the same way with family members, friends, or loved ones... YOU can't talk about them!)  He then points to my stomach and says, "Well, your baby is going to do that."  (THAT was IT for me!  If you ever insinuate my child is going to do something bad like run out the front door and slam doors, it is VERY possible I will kill you.)  He immediately looks at his son, and they start laughing... as if I was just some idiot that didn't know how children act.  I flipped.  I said, "Wow... who lets their child just run around slamming things and running out the front door?!?!  My child isn't going to be an idiot!  I mean who doesn't watch their children?  Obviously TRASH allow their children to run a muck and run outside unaccompanied."  I could feel myself getting ready to ask him what trailer park he and Moe were from.  I turn and walk away.  Of course, my mouth was running out of control.  I was saying whatever popped into my head.  As I walked away screaming, "See.. WE can actually afford to child proof our home...unlike some folks that can't make enough money to do so.  In fact, some people actually watch their children ... some children are loved and some end up working with their fisherman father."  Was I being rude?  Absolutely!  But THIS is my home.  If you disrespect me, just hold on to your hat.  I mean Brian already warned them that I was pregnant... is this fisherman an idiot?  Now, Brian was left just standing there.  He already knew the clock WASN'T moving.... he wanted it there too.  And...if he didn't, it doesn't matter anyway.  I'm not really sure how he wrapped that conversation up, but the clock stayed put.  The father-son team got back to work. 

I immediately run to the kitchen and phone my mother.  I tell her the situation as loud as possible.  Ya know, so father and son idiots can hear me talk about their ridiculousness.  So, I'm ranting... and she couldn't believe that I was talking right in front of them.  As I tell her every detail, she relays the situation to my father.  They already know I'm a force to be reckoned with... so they just laugh it off.   The son, Moe, walked by and looked at me with straight fear. He clearly wasn't laughing now.  I won't go into everything I said... because it wasn't nice.  But.. I don't care.  (I know I'm a nice and caring person to those who are the same with me.  Most people consider me a very generous person.  So, I could really care less what these two idiots think of me.)  Brian kept walking by me ... giving me that look.  He was so embarrassed, but at the same time he wouldn't dare say anything.  The last thing he wants is for me to redirect my anger towards him.  So, he just stays calm and acts as if nothing is going on. 

So, these assholes continue to have questions.. like where our mirrors go.  Brian runs to me, because he knows I have a well laid out plan for every single piece of furniture.  They asked him where our huge mirror goes.  Brian yells for me and asks me.  I come into the room and say, " Well, I want it on the wall behind the couch in the living room, but THAT is just MY opinion.  I'm sure everyone else will want to put it wherever they see fit."  Brian could tell I had much more to he just said, "OKAY!  Behind the couch is going to look GREAT!"  Not a peep from anyone else in the room.  I walk back into the kitchen.  The rest of the day went on like that... my shitty remarks kept popping up. 

Look... I'm a nice person.  I have plenty of nice things to say to just about every single person I meet.  BUT for f*ck sakes... if you are disrespectful to me, I'm going to dish it right back.  I would expect anyone else to react the same way.  Ya see, I don't think hormones had anything to do with this. You talk about my kids (or insinuate they are too stupid to open a door like a calm and rational human) then I'm going to get fired up.  It's simple.  

Now... the day I fall downstairs into the clock... I will call the fisherman and Moe and apologize.  Until then... I will loathe those two individuals.

What can you learn from a nightmare?

When you're pregnant, you have some WILD dreams!  Every night it's like a completely different thing.  They are so vivid... it's nothing like I've ever experienced.  A week ago, I had a dream about several people I knew from high school that I haven't seen or thought about in YEARS!  Why these people popped up in my dreams.... I have no idea!  Anywho... getting down to the reason I'm talking about my dreams.  Last night, I had a very disturbing dream... I'd call it a nightmare.  I will give you the readers digest version... it went something like this...

I was hanging out with another couple (an old friend from college and his pregnant wife).  They pulled out a Fetal Doppler (device to detect and listen to your babies heartbeat).  Anyway... his wife used it, and you could heart the babies heartbeat.  They let me give it a try... I couldn't detect a heartbeat.  I tried.. and tried.. and tried..  no luck.  It freaked me out.  Then, for some reason we were in a cabin.  (I know.. weird dream) We were all getting in our sleeping bags ... I mean I guess it was time to go to bed. lol.. anywho..  I began to feel something running down my leg.  It was blood!! I was having a miscarriage.  I then ended up in the ER... (dreams are weird ... they have transitions similar to a movie... you're in one place and then find yourself in another).  So, I'm in the ER... and I'm just crying.  Bawling my eyes out to be exact.  And screaming, "NO! NO!"  This when on forever. Then, I woke up.... but I wasn't really awake... I was in a dream STILL!  (it was like some weird Inception thing).  So, I "woke up" in my own bed and was grateful it was a dream.  I went to the bathroom to pee for the millionth time in a day...and I find out that I DID have a miscarriage.  Again, I find myself in the ER... screaming... crying... dying inside.  THEN, I actually woke up.  I immediately have a migraine. The dream was unbelievably stressful for me.  BUT... I can't tell you how thankful I was it was just a dream. 

Ya know, I read that it's common for pregnant women to have the "miscarriage" nightmare, but I don't think I could go through that stress again.  I honestly hope I NEVER have that nightmare again.  It's funny though... you spend your whole life trying NOT to get pregnant.  Before you try to get pregnant, you have nightmares that you DO get pregnant, and your reaction is crying... bawling your eyes out.. screaming NO!  You're not mentally prepared for a child.... or at least you don't think you are.  So, even though I had to go through that horrible nightmare... TWICE in one night... I think it made me realize that I couldn't be more ready to have a baby.  Yes, my angel was planned, but you sometimes doubt if you're ready.  You ask yourself: "Will I be a good mom?  Am I ready for this?  Can I handle the responsibility?"  I am just like every other person.... I doubt myself.  However, that nightmare made me realize something.  At this point, I can't imagine my life without my baby.  I mean he/she isn't even here yet, and I don't want to live without them.  I'm 100% ready for my sweet-pea.  

Am I ready for a 5am feeding?  Am I ready to hear my shrieking baby in the middle of the night or at a restaurant?  Am I ready to get barfed on?  Am I ready to worry every minute of every day about the well-being of my baby?  The answer is... YES!  I can't wait.  

So, the best part of a nightmare is that it isn't real... and perhaps you can learn something from it.  :)

Finally ... a TN resident!

OKAY!  Finally moved in to my TN home!  Moving is stressful.... but moving when you're pregnant is a whole other animal.  You are basically up on your feet all day.... moving around.  I have to tell the movers where to put every piece of furniture and every single box.  This is an 8am-6pm job.  Nine movers...needing directions around the house.  I tell them a million times where the work-out room is....I tell them a million times where the guest room is... but somehow they forget after 5 seconds.  So, I go traipsing up and down the stairs all day.  AND... God forbid I have to show them where to put a box in the second attic on the third floor.  Needless to say, my legs and feet are killing me.  SO....this week I've decided it's time for a prenatal massage!  I deserve it! 

Germantown, TN is most certainly a very cute town... and so far... I really like it!  Everyone is sooo nice... including our new neighbors!  Such a change from NC....

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

My cup runneth over....

So, today... I have a mild migraine.  I've taken all of my pills (prescribed for pregnant migraine sufferers), and I feel about as high as a kite.  Now, why do I have a migraine??  Because being in the middle of a move is
STRESSFUL!  Now, to save you all from hearing my serious attitude regarding ALL of these people involved (the buyer, the bank for the buyer, etc) I totally just erased everything I just wrote.  I will just call my mother later and vent to her.  Plus, I already threatened to put a hit out on everyone's family involved.  I'm a very extreme person :)  Give me a name of an individual who sucks at their job....and in 10 minutes I have their d.o.b., home address, and next of f'n kin!  Accident DO happen.... I totally believe in that :)  In rare form today.... and Brian is in a huge meeting.  SO... guess who has to deal with all of these idiots??  ME!!  Our Realtor team in NC is already terrified of me... they HATE dealing with me because (1) I'm pregnant and ridiculously hormonal (2) I'm considered the mean one (out of Brian and myself)... I believe me to be the no nonsense one... they contact him b/c he is much nicer when sh*t hits the fan (3) I tell these people exactly what I think of all of these bankers, etc. (and trust me... I am brutal).  Plus, it's not even my Realtor's fault (or his team)... paperwork on our end with the bank has been done for weeks.  When you have a prefect credit score and bankers know who you are, then shit goes smoothly...The problem is this Anesthesiologist who is trying to purchase our home.  Let this be a lesson... even if you are an Anesthesiologist... it doesn't mean you have any real money or pull.  OK...rant over.... I can only bore you so much with this sh*t!

So, since I've started this baby blog, I've had well over 1500 hits.  It amazes me how venting my frustrations has really appealed to people.  I do this blog only because I believe it's good to vent frustrations and let everyone in on a piece of your life.  Plus, when my kid is old enough, they can read what happened throughout my pregnancy.  That seems cool to me.  And... if they think I'm a little off-the-wall, I'm okay with that.   

All the positive feedback I'm getting on this blog really makes me feel like I'm doing it for a real purpose.  Originally, I was only going to open this blog to select friends and family, but I figured what the hell.  I'm an open book, and I appreciate that I have turned into that type of person.  And... for people who think poorly of me by reading some of these posts... I honestly don't care.  I'm just one of those people that could really care less if someone doesn't like me.  More than likely... I don't care for them.  Everything evens out...right? 

So, from the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU!  Thank you to everyone that reads this.  Thank you to everyone that sends me messages saying you love the blog.  Thank you to everyone that tells me they can completely relate.  Life is super tough sometimes...(especially if you're pregnant)... and we all have to stick together to get through it.  You lean on me, and I will lean on you.  The best thing you can do is give support to your friends and family.

I will absolutely continue to write honestly about my daily issues.  Another lesson: nobody has the perfect, stress-free life.  But that is what makes us human...and it makes us great!  Our flaws make us individuals.  Each and every one of us should embrace that... and love others for it. 

(with a nice Japanese bow)
My cup truly runneth over.

Monday, July 25, 2011

I... ATE... A ... HOT... DOG!

Okay, so last week I had a 3 day migraine.  Life pretty much sucked for those 3 days.  Staying in bed, rubbing and holding my head as hard as humanly possible, vomiting every time I stand up, and freaking out the whole time that my poor baby is feeling the effects of my stress.... SUCKS!  I've dealt with it before, and I will deal with it again (I'm sure).

So, getting migraines is very typical for me.  However, I ALWAYS believe it's more than just a migraine.  I'm almost ALWAYS positive I've got listeria.  (Quick Lesson for those that don't know what it is: Listeria is a type of bacteria that's found in water and soil, but it's been found in uncooked meats, uncooked vegetables, unpasteurized milk, food made from unpasteurized milk, and processed foods.  There's a chance that contamination may occur in ready-to-eat foods such as hot dogs and deli meats.)  So, that's why the Dr. always tells you not to eat deli meats or hot dogs.  OK..moving on.  So, I'm almost always certain I've got it!

I'm a bit of a hypochondriac (ok...I'm a full blown hypochondriac).  I'm just one of those people that feels an ache or a pain and immediately head to the computer for a diagnosis.  True story: When I first started taking Topamax for my migraines, I read up on it.  There is a TON of info about it of course I read it ALL!  I found where Topamax could cause kidney stones.  Well, about two months of taking the medication, I got sick.  My back hurt... I was vomiting for no reason.. super nauseous... and HELLO... apparently my medication could CAUSE kidney stones.  It seemed like a match to me.  I went to the Dr after coming to the realization that I have kidney stones... I really just needed the Dr. to tell me how we go forward in fixing this problem.  So, the Dr. had me take a pee test.  I just waited to hear the horrible news.  The Dr. came back in and said, "Sam, usually there is a little infection in everyone's urine, but yours had absolutely zero.  I've never even seen that.  There's absolutely no way you have kidney stones.  You probably just pulled a muscle in your back."  I was like, "Okay, I drink a lot of water, so I'm sure I've flushed all the infection out.  But are you SURE I don't have kidney stones?  I mean I think we need a plan of attack here."  He laughed at me... and told me he was 100% sure there were no kidney stones.  Of course, then we laughed at how ridiculous I am.  The nurses got a kick out of it too.... so ya know... if I can be a comedy relief for some hardworking people... so be it!  I can't help it...I'm just always sure they are missing something.  Although, it's better to be mentally prepared for the worst and hear the best... than visa versa.  So.... as I was saying...

I'm always positive I have listeria.  I called my OB on Friday and talked to a nurse.  I told her my whole migraine history... then I confessed the worst thing of all.  I... ATE... A... HOT DOG.. AT ... THE.. CARDINALS ... GAME... 2 WEEKS.. AGO!  Shit, I'm a bad mother already!  I KNEW I wasn't supposed to do it... I knew it!  BUT.... damn.. they looked so gooooood! It was only ONE!  And all of the food was free (ok...not that that even matters)... and well... DAMN... at least I didn't have a cocktail and do LSD!!  Right?!?!  Okay, so I was thinking the nurse would tell me I needed to haul my ass into the ER, because I had killed my child and possibly myself with a hot dog.  Thankfully, she told me that she was positive that I didn't have listeria.  I, again, asked the professional..."Are you sure?"  She told me not to worry and called in two prescriptions for me: (1) pills for a migraine (basically like a hardcore it does nothing really)... (2) Anti-nausea pills.  Once Brian picked up my pills, I felt better.  The anti-nausea pill rocks.  I was able to eat again... just NO hot dogs. 

So, I'm coming to realize every single time my child gets sick... we WILL be heading to the Dr.  Even if they have a common cold, I will be positive it's much worse.  Ugh.... Thank God I have great insurance.  

PS: My poor mother and husband get a ton of phone calls from my ass claiming I'm dying of something...  they deserve medals.  They're always able to talk me off the ledge ;)

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

This is my "way-of-life" ...

Okay, I've ALWAYS been a homebody.  I'm just someone that likes being alone.  I mean I wasn't always this bad, but as I get older... the loner in me really stands out!  Will I go out and do things with people??  Sure.  Of course!  BUT...I don't go out very often.  Why?  Because I don't feel the need to be around people all the dang time.  In my eyes... People = Drama!  (strike that... SOME people = drama).  Now, I do have some amazing friends (strike that... I have the BEST friends a girl could ask for) that I would LOVE to see every single day, but let's face it.... THEY all live all OVER the USA!  So, that option is OUT for me.  Plus, even if we all lived in the same town, they have lives too!  LOL!  I digress.

The whole thing with me is that I LOVE to be alone.  Yes, if you do see me out on a rare occasion, it's because I'm usually out of town and am doing the whole visiting thing... so I get in my "let's see everyone has much as humanly possible" state-of-mind.  Going to the mall with friends was fine back in the high-school/college days, but I don't see the point of it now.  I can only shop alone.... I'm much faster by myself.  Now, some people might think I'm weird.  I get that.  BUT... If so, then I think being a needy person who MUST be in contact with another human (and they will take anyone) a little... *won't use a word here.  I have friends that need to have human interaction on a daily basis...and I totally get it.  It's just not for me... so don't judge me...and I won't judge you! K - moving on!

So, my "way-of-life" brings up two things... (1) Why am I so depressed with a recent development that KEEPS in my home?? (2)  Will my child end up like me?

(1) Okay, so the recent development is MY HUGE BOOBS!  Frankly, I used to love to get out and go to the gym, grocery, mall, run errands, etc....HOWEVER, I am completely embarrassed to do so now.  I've been invited out to lunches and want to desperately make it to the gym every single day, but at this point it's not lack of energy.... IT's THESE F'N BOOBS that KEEP me in my home!!  They are soo embarrassing.  Now, most of you might think I'm being ridiculous, but what if your freakin nose grew the size of Montana??  Or... your foot decided to expand to the side of a seal?  Would you really feel like getting up, getting dressed, and heading out for the day??  HELL NO, YOU WOULDN'T! 

The thought of putting on a HUGE bra (which in all reality isn't that huge) just to tame these puppies sucks!  I mean... I get that I'm pregnant and all... so my boobs are going to be massive, but could these loser boobs be masked in any way?  Now, I get that some girls would LOVE the extra flubber in the boobilicous area.. BUT I'm not one of them.  These things are PORN STAR ready.  I mean they still look great.... it's the SIZE of them that kills me.  I think about going places, but then I realize I will have to wear a huge shirt (okay...size M... not huge... but when you come from wearing little girls sizes.. 10/12... it's a little different).... and I don't want to wear a bigger shirt!  I'm starting to do the whole flannel shirt (yes, I know it's 1000 degrees outside, but the look works for me) and shorts.  I never thought I'd say this, but I'm soooooo ready for WINTER!  Bring on the frosty weather and the snow.  I'm ready!

Once we get settled into our new home, and I have my home gym back.... I think I will feel much better about life.  I wonder if they sell shirts that say,"THIS is NOT what I normally look like.  Check back with me in 9months to a year...and you can meet the actual ME!"  Perhaps I could just settle for the shirts that say, "I'm not fat... I'm pregnant!" 

(2) So, is my child destined to follow in the loner footsteps?  I don't know.  Some of you might think that if I LOVE being alone so much... then how the hell did I get married?  And... how the hell did I think having a child (that needs to be around me 24/7) was a good idea?

Well, that's all very simple.  My husband is the only guy I've ever wanted to be around 24/7.  He travels and works so much that having my "ME" time or being able to travel by myself works.  He just isn't one of those "in your face" guys.  That's always worked best for me.  I've never been an "in your face" kinda gal... I think that was my major appeal when I was in the dating world! ;)  Although, I HAVE decided that I will not be traveling without him anymore.... unless it's an emergency or a prior commitment I've made! :)   Ya see, I don't really consider wanting to be with my hubby the same as wanting to be with other people 24/7.  At this point, he's more of just an extension of me.  His presence is necessary like the air I breathe.  So, this is why having a child doesn't freak me out.  My child will be an extension of myself.  Something that is necessary for me to live.  It's not that fact that I want him/her or need him/her... it's just absolutely necessary that he/she is there... with me... all the time.  Get it?  I've never had the luxury of being able to explain myself intricately.  So, if you don't get it, I understand. :)

Is my child destined to be a loner type?  Well, possibly.  I have the perfect understanding that I'm going to be giving birth to my new best friend.  Now, as much as I want this little guy or little girl to be Mr/Ms Popularity as they get older, it scares the SH*T out of me.  I don't want some other loser child who has had a shitty and unloving life to hurt my child in any way.  The sheer thought of someone talking smack to my little angel makes me see red.  So, is that just natural mommy instinct? 

Well..My parents were beyond protective.... The whole thing with them was..."you start shit with our kids and we MIGHT blow your fuckin head off."  (No need for asterisks when you need to get your point across).  lol.  To this day, they still feel very much the same... and this new grandbaby will get the same treatment.  Once you have been born or inducted into the Putnam-clan, it's like you have an army for life.  So, I mean I grew up realizing that as a family we were as thick as thieves.  Some of you reading this might have felt the wrath a time or two. ;)  In a moments notice, we were ready and willing to throw down....and going to jail/prison for defending a family member was NEVER out of the question.  THANKFULLY, it never got that far... but it was ALWAYS on the table.  So, motherly instinct (nature)... YES...  a little Putnam family learning (nurture)... YES!  OKAY.... Perhaps, I should encourage the loner lifestyle... it could really save me or another family member from heading off to Sing Sing. :)

(OR...I just gotta let Baby Herington's friends know that Momma Herington is as serious as a fuckin heart attack when it comes to messin with her child/children.)

So... as you can read... today was "one of those days."  I'm sure tomorrow will be better.  If you got anything out of this blog today, perhaps it's that (1) reading blogs are a great way to drain your brain of those pesky brain cells you THOUGHT you needed (2) Sam will NEVER get a boob job... unless it's a reduction to be flatter than a board (3) Hmm... don't f*ck with the fam?! 

Now that I've worked through all of that with ALL of you in tow, we can all move on!

Monday, July 18, 2011

First Ultrasound Pictures....

Okay, so I will eventually post better pics of my angel, but since I'm in the middle of a move and my scanner is not with me.... THIS is as good as it gets! :)

Most people probably think... "you can't see anything!"  Well, I can...  THAT is an adorable child.  A REAL WINNER!  I can totally tell that child will be a serious athlete... and you're looking at the President of the USA 2068.  lol - If you can't see all that, then you need to get those eyes checked! 

In love with a mini-me...

Exhausted: Moving & Saying Good-Bye...

So, this past week was CRAZY!  We've finally moved out of our NC home!!  It was exhausting for my pregnant ass. 

Okay, So...I'm one of the luckier people in the world.  I didn't have to pack one thing.  We had a 4 person team of people to actually do all the packing.  It took them 2 days to pack all of our stuff.  So, why so stressful??  Well, I had to wake up at 7am, and I had to be up roaming around the house all day (answering questions, welcoming chit-chat, etc).  Around noon, we had another team of 3 people that showed up to crate our very large/expensive items (this took 2 days as well).  I had to make several phone calls during the day, ya know, to cancel things (cable/phone/internet, electricity, trash, water, etc).  Now, making phone calls seems easy enough, but every damn person I talked to seemed super confused.  I went off on SEVERAL individuals...and decided the hubby could do the rest of the calling when he got in town.  Ok, so the 4 packers and the 3 person crating team didn't leave until like 5:30pm.  At that point, I was worn out!  I was starving and sick of being on my feet.  I got in my rental car (which I thought was super embarrassing), and darted off to the nearest fast food joint.  The drive-thru never seemed slower.  As soon as I got back home, I ate and was in bed by 6:30pm. 

What sucks soooo bad about being pregnant (or in your first trimester, at least) is that you are F'N tired!  Sometimes I'm just a little sleepy, and sometimes I'm exhausted to the bone.  THAT is the most irritating thing for me.  I used to be the girl that had all this energy.  I used to make it to the gym 2-4 x's a DAY!  I used to think people who took naps were losers.  BTW: even being this tired...I HATE NAPS!  I always feel hungover after I wake up in the middle of the day, so I just avoid them at all cost.  I honestly can't wait to have this baby and get back to my energetic self (the girl who works out like it's her job)!

So, after two days of packing and crating, the movers could actually come and move our stuff!  They arrived the earliest... so my ass was up at the crack of dawn.  Day 1 with the  movers/Day 3 of moving: I was there alone.... Hubby had a huge meeting back in Memphis, so he showed up late that evening.  So, 5 dudes were loading up stuff and shipping it out to the truck.  I had to watch these people ALL DAY, because if they drop my furniture or scratch the walls... SOMEONE is going to get cussed out!  (SIDENOTE:  I sealed all 5 toilets upstairs and 1 downstairs...because HELLO they were just cleaned.  So, I told all 5 guys they could only use 1 restroom on the first floor (since I hadn't cleaned it yet).  :) hehe..   I obviously left another one in the MASTER for myself, because a pregnant woman needs an open restroom at all times!  UMM... how many times a day do you men take a dump!?!?  Those 5 movers went in some weird rotation.  They took like 3 dumps each... and were in the bathroom FOREVER!  It was really gross... I knew I WOULD NOT be cleaning their bathroom.  EW!  Men are so gross.)  Having to walk around and check on movers all day SUCKS!  Again, I was in bed by 6:30pm.  Last day:  Brian was he had to deal with these nasty men.  I did as much cleaning as possible, because let's face it... I clean better than any MAID service.  Plus, my house was pretty much spotless anyway.  I'm a bit of a clean freak :) part... Brian ended up cleaning the restroom that was appointed to the movers! LOL  - He's awesome. 

So, I said GOOD-BYE to my North Carolina home.  As exhausting as it was, it finally got accomplished.  Leaving was a little bitter sweet.  As I got ready to leave, my little red cardinal, Fabian (the name I gave him the second day I saw him), showed up at my window.  He then flew to the place where his bird-feeder was...and hopped around.  (Back story: This little bird started showing up 2 winters ago.  He would fly to my master bedroom window in the morning.  Sometimes, I would be waking up, roll over in bed, and sweet lil Fabian was sitting there at my window.  He'd follow me from room to room...just sitting on the window ledge.  Now, some of you might think I'm crazy, but my friends and family have seen this little bird follow me.  He would always peck on the window to get my attention, and I would sing to him.  I swear I'm not crazy.  In fact, everyone my husband used to work with would call me Snow White.... because they assume I'm some animal charmer.  Even when it snowed last winter and the snow covered the bird-feeder, I took a plate of bird food out to him. I'm pretty sure he had a huge crush on me.)  Anywho... I couldn't bare that little sweety not having any bird food or having HIS bird-feeder.  So, we unpacked it.... and left it.  He just sat on the bird-feeder for what seemed like 30 minutes.  So, sad.  I did tell him my new address in case he wants to travel to TN... and make this his new home.  I know for a fact there are many lady cardinals in this area!! :)  I took my last photo of Fabian, and I had to say GOOD-BYE.  :(

photo below: My sweet baby... Fabian

Monday, July 11, 2011

All of a sudden...there was MY BABY!!

OK (blog below explained my morning)....Then, around 2:30, I'm in the doctor's office (still crazy and enraged).  Then, the nurse called me back.  I was all flustered, but I just followed the nurse.  We went into a room that had a sign that said...ULTRASOUND!  I was so flustered...I couldn't even get excited.  I sat back...the lady put the gel on my stomach...and ALL OF A SUDDEN... THERE IT WAS! MY BABY!  And....all my stress faded away.  My smile couldn't have been bigger...

My little angel was kicking its feet and moving its arms all around.  The lady said,"Whoa, your baby is super active."  She couldn't even measure him/her at first because baby was excited!  It's like it was dancing for us!  So sweet!  I got to hear the heartbeat ..170bpm.'s 4cm....teeny tiny!  Then, suddenly, baby went to sleep.  It wore itself out.  Fell asleep with its hand on its head.  Finally, we were able to measure baby and measure neck (checking for possible down syndrome).  Everything looked great!  I was excited to see those baby hands...the thumb...and that little nose.  IT was so cute.  I immediately sent pictures out to friends and family.  Everyone needed to see Baby Herington!  I know it's just an ultrasound picture, but it's everything to me.  That little person is going to be mine forever.  Ok...maybe not forever...but he or she is MINE!  And I get to keep it!  It's by far the best thing ever to see it. 

I immediately lost all my anger towards every single person I had HATED earlier in the day.  All I wanted to do was stop every single person on the way out of the Doctor's office and show them pictures of my baby!'s so funny.  On the way home, I drove very slow....God forbid one of these crazy, 100mph drivers runs into me and injures my angel.  :)  I think I need to keep those pictures in my puts everything in perspective.

My thoughts:  My child is clearly amazing, because they were dancing for me.  Ya know, putting on a little show for Mommy!  Then, they have Daddy-genes, because they are able to just fall asleep at a drop of a hat.  I'm thinking this child MUST be the smartest thing in a womb!  LOL...I know I'm completely crazy.  Every parent thinks their child is amazing, and I'm just gonna follow suit.  ;) 

In love with a mini-me...

Another day of going ape-shit on anyone and everyone...

Okay...Today started out ridiculous!  On a normal (non-pregnancy) day, I wouldn't even get miffed about ANYTHING that went wrong in this day...HOWEVER, the pregnant SAM went ape-shit! 

(1) The maid came just as I was about to leave.  Her "normal" day is Thursday; however, she's decided to just come whenever she feels like it.  Two weeks ago, she came on Friday.  Last week, she forgot to come.  So, of course, today she decided to come JUST as I was LEAVING!  Like....literally in my CAR on the way out, and she arrived!  UUGGHH!!  I was on the phone with my mom, so I barely spoke to the maid but gave her the eye.  She's really starting to PISS ME OFF!! (side note: She's actually a really nice person.  She's very religious, and we usually just talk about that stuff).  ANYWHO...Today, I just couldn't deal with her Pop-In, Pop-Out style.  I'm pretty sure she could tell I was pissed when I went in and grabbed all of my expensive jewelry off the bathroom counter.  Plus, I was talking to my my mom got an ear-full about this woman.  So, NOW...I've decided to complain about her.  BUT....first...I had to get my nails done!

(2) Okay, I arrive at the Nail Salon at 1:25pm.  I SHOULD have been there earlier, BUT since the maid came ...I lost 5-8 minutes going back in and grabbing my expensive shit.  SORRY... I don't TRUST! Anywho...I tell the dude I need a french with the gel.  No acrylic. No tips. JUST THE GEL POLISH!  Now...that seemed like an easy request considering the dude did my nails TWO WEEKS AGO! wasn't easy for this dumbass.  He tried to put tips on....I was like..."NO!"  Then...he gets out the acrylic.  OK...I wore acrylic on my nails for SIX YEARS!  SIX!  So, Mr. Nail Dude....I know exactly what I want and it ain't acrylic.  HE wasted 10 minutes of my time getting them ready for acrylic.  I could have KILLED!  Then, another bitch started on my nails when I was like..."OMG! I need to see someone else."  Ms. Nail lady decided she didn't get it either.  The owner came over and I was like, "Look, this is clearly too difficult for you folks. I was here two weeks ago, and you put the gel polish on."  She said,"Oh, yes, you should have said gel."  BITCH ,I DID!  I told them I was going elsewhere.  They said, "No, No (in that Vietnamese-English voice)!"  I said, "ok, I have ten minutes left before I have a Dr.'s appt, so how about we just pick a color, any color, and call it a day."  I made her paint my nails pink, and I stormed out!  I WILL NOT BE GOING BACK THERE.  UUGGHH...this is why I don't carry my gun.

(3) On the way to the Doctor's office, I encountered every dip on the road.  The 95-year-old male in a white piece...EATING dorito's while driving, the old woman talking on her cell and confused about life, and the slow mom with clearly 10 children in the back of her car jumping up and down: All accounted for!  Ok, I actually felt sorry for the  mom....she looked like she needed a cocktail.  Top it off...I hit every red light.  I decided to speed through the Hospital parking lot....because 100mph is totally acceptable for a pregnant bitch.  So, by the time I got into the Doctor's office, I was enraged, sweating, and 15-minutes late.  Needless to say, I hated everyone in the waiting room.  Why?  I don't know...JUST BECAUSE! 

Cut to my next blog......  :)

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Today was one of "those" days...

Today was a pretty hard day.  It was one of "those" day...  Why?  Because it was one of those days when you wake up and you feel like a fat old penny loafer!  I swear...I looked in the mirror and it looks as though I got bit by a poisonous snake and immediately bloated up!  I was like..."who is this person?!"  My boobs are outrageous.  Prior to pregnancy, I was one of those ladies who LOVED to be flat and would attempt to get flatter at any cost!  Being a 30A was a DREAM!  BUT ...what are these meat balloons?!?  AND...I hear they are going to get bigger...oh Lord help us all! 

And...Okay Acne....we've all had enough of you!  I'm like a 16-year-old male who works at a Pizza Hut!  It's ridiculous!  And this attitude I have ...SUCKS!  I'm usually a very nice person, but lately it's like I've entered a bitch far... I'm winning by a landslide!  I just keep telling myself....IT'S ALL WORTH IT!

So, what gets me through these horrific devilish days??  Support from all of my friends and family!!  (This includes EVERYONE that is reading these blogs and EVERYONE on Facebook that has something encouraging or nice to say)!  I'm floored about the amount of hits I get on this blog.  I honestly feel the love from all of you and it helps tremendously!  I actually really appreciate the stories everyone has regarding their own pregnancy woes.  And when it comes down to it....I'm THRILLED to be apart of the MOMMY club! :)  So...THANK YOU ALL!!   You make this pregnancy much easier! :) 

The pic below is the day after Brian and I got engaged in St. Thomas.  It makes me I thought I would just add it.  Puts a smile on a fat old penny loafers face! :)~

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

My 4th of July Weekend.....

The 4th weekend was fun/stressful/painful/and upsetting.

Fun: I spent Saturday getting my hair done with my mom.  I always fly down to Orlando to have my hair that weird?  My sexual kitten friend, Krystyna, always does this hair...and I LOVE her for it.  I wish she lived in my home and could do it every single day.  I literally trust nobody else to do this hair.'s always fun going to the salon and catching up on the gossip! :)  THEN, my mom and I had lunch with my lovely friend Dana and her adorable daughter, Holly.  I've always looked up to Dana, and she has always been someone that I feel safe with.  She's just super loving and nurturing...just a beautiful person inside and out.  Anytime I get to spend with Danakins is the best!  AND...Holly is sooo cute!  I swear I could just scoop up that little girl and take her home.  She couldn't be any sweeter!  The lunch was awesome!  My mom and I just couldn't stop talking about how adorable Holly was and how I get to have one of those!  My friends literally have the cutest kids....every time I see them....BABY FEVER!  I also went shopping and bought myself a handbag, because I felt it was necessary! lol :)  And....I got some chocolate covered strawberries :)  All in all, that was a FABULOUS day!  Oh...and looking at baby clothes with my mom was fun too! But she knows I enjoy spending time with her and laughing about everything. 

Stressful: Obviously, this was when I had to tell the step-kids about the baby.  I don't know why I stress about it...Brian doesn't.  I just want them to be happy....I don't want to them be upset about these things.

Painful: Sunday evening...I started getting a horrific migraine.  I had to stay in the hotel room, lights off, and in bed.  Everyone else got to go to a movie...Universal...and out to eat.  I, of course, was happy they got to go have fun, but it sucked I couldn't be apart of it.  Booo....  Of course, Monday morning...Migraine had gotten worse.  We had to travel to Naples to take the girls home...and off to Ft. Myers to get on a plane.  Then we had a layover in Atlanta.  Meanwhile, I was head was pounding..pounding... POUNDING!

Upsetting:  The kicker of the day...our flight in Atlanta got delayed for 3 hrs.  There were storms in the area.  So, as we sat on the runway for an head was getting worse and worse.  Then, we finally take off and the turbulence was SOOO bad.  We were going up and a freakin roller coaster.  I was sooo nervous, nauseous, and in pain....I immediately started to cry.  I, of course, had to hide my tears....because let's face it....if we don't die on this plane...I might look like a fool.  So, when we landed (Thank you, Lord), Brian and I made it out to the parking garage and I just started bawling my eyes out.  Brian freaked out, because he knew I was in serious pain.  I had just been so stressed out and in pain....It was too upsetting for me.  I cried for like 30 minutes.  It's ridiculous.  When we finally got home, I just took a hydrocodone and got in bed.  Miserable.  It's now Tuesday evening, and I still have a migraine.  It's a low-grade migraine now, so I can deal with it.  I refused to do anything today...but ya know...stay in bed and watch this whole Casey Anthony Bullshit.  Will this migraine ever go away?? I don't know...but I refuse to do anything until it does.  And...Even though it's painful as F*CK, I still think baby peanut is all worth it. 

Telling The Step-Girls...

So, everyone knows that telling my step-girls about the baby could have gone 3 different ways.  (1) They could have been shitty right from the jump, and they could have both had a serious meltdown.  They are tweens... they have meltdowns about the craziest things.  (2) They could have been happy...and realized this would eventually happen.  Then, start texting or call their mother and end up very shitty because she was pissed or depressed about the situation!  They tend to look to their mother on how to react instead of going with their gut feelings.  OR (3) They could just be happy and excited to have a new little brother or sister on the way.

So, how did it go, you ask?!  It went down like this...  The girls got back late from Universal Studios with Brian on Saturday.  I couldn't go b/c I can't ride any I got my hair done, had lunch with my mom, Dana, and Holly, and went shopping (I will get to my fun day later)!  Anywho...The girls were in a GREAT mood!  I've heard they never get to go anywhere or do anything with their it's a real treat when we come down to see them!  They were jumping around and talking about their awesome day.  The younger one got in bed and snuggled with me, because everyone knows...she is my Partner In Crime! :)  We were all gathered in the main bedroom of our suite when Brian's oldest said, "Sam, your arms are looking super muscular! They look like they are getting bigger."  I took that moment to say.."Well, I'm gonna be getting EVEN bigger!"  They both looked at me like I was crazy.  They were like, "Wait. What does that mean?"  Brian said, "Well girls...We wanted to tell ya...Sam is pregnant."  They were both in shock.  I immediately realized that it could go really great or really bad at that moment. So, I said, "You guys are gonna have a little brother or little sister.  And that little one is gonna look up to you guys and just love you.  He or she isn't going to understand half-sister's or anything....they are just gonna know that you guys are Sissy and wanna play with you."  I could tell the girls were still shocked and didn't know what to think. They were asking a couple of questions, but they were pretty quiet.  So, I said, "And don't freak out, because NOTHING is going to change.  Yes, we will just have another little person added to our group, but NOTHING else will change.  We will still come visit you, and you will still come visit us.  We are still going to go do all the things we did before...we will just have an addition.  It's a good thing...and it's just more love to spread."  They seemed somewhat calmed by that.  We chatted a little bit about it...and the older one had a few shitty things to say to her father about when she was growing up....but they were basically lies that her mother told her (i.e. he never changed a diaper, he never got up when they would cry at night....basically b/s).  It was pretty late at that point, so they decided to go to bed and sleep on it.  They needed to digest it.

Cut to next day:  I anticipated some serious attitude, but it wasn't there.  They were very inquisitive.  They wanted to know what it felt like to have a baby inside my tummy...they wanted to know when I can find out if it's a girl or boy...they wanted to know about baby names...and EVERYTHING else.  We went to breakfast, and we saw sooo many babies.  That seemed to get them excited.  They realized that they would soon have one of those little babies to hold all the time!  So, we hung out at the pool...and it was the same as always.  The younger one took me aside as said, "I wanna be happy..and I am..but it's weird.  My dad had two babies with my mom and now he will have one with you."  I said, "Yea, I understand how that can be weird, but you have to understand that babies are miracles.  Even though it didn't work out between your dad and your mom, we all still got two amazing miracles from and your sister.  So, that relationship was never a mistake, because something wonderful came out of it.  And soooo many families are like this now...they have step-brothers/sisters...half-brothers/sisters."  I also explained to her that her mom could meet someone tomorrow that already has kids, and those kids would be her step-brothers/sisters.  I said, "At least this little guy or girl will be related to you, and might even act like ya!"  I also said, "And if you EVER feel like you aren't getting enough attention because everyone knows babies need lots of attention...YOU have to tell me or your dad.  I don't ever want you or your sister to feel like you aren't getting enough attention or not as much as you did before.  If you ever feel like that, let me know and we will do something special with just you!"  That made her very happy....I know the kids just don't want anyone to forget about them.  That's important they know that it can't happen.  So....then the younger one came at me with every single question!  And some of those questions were wild!  lol...  When a 10y-year-old asks you how "it" feels or what "it" is like, you get very weirded out.  So, I explained it as best I could.....

At least they know now.  It was the most stressful thing, but it went rather well.  They were very supportive, and they were finally happy to see me eat!  Now, I just hope their mother doesn't do a number on them and have them thinking horrible thoughts about this whole thing.

Friday, July 1, 2011

Pregnant Life: What I Miss....and what I DON'T!

Things I miss...
(1) Botox - Contrary to popular belief...I get this done for my migraines.  Of course, I DO like having my wrinkles erased, but I prefer a migraine free life over a wrinkle free life any day!
(2) Topamax & Imitrex - The best pills in the world for treating migraines....I miss them so.
(3) Crest White Strips - They say you shouldn't use anything like that while you're pregnant.  UUGGHH.....annoying!
(4) Working out 3-4 x's a day - I guess I COULD still do that, but being exhausted doesn't help.  Plus, I don't want to over do it....not wanting a miscarriage here people!  I stick to 1-2 x's a day....I'm hoping to pick up the pace when I hit my second trimester!!
(5) Eating a certain calorie amount a day - Now, I eat when I'm hungry, and I don't count calories.  I mainly do that because I know I would completely freak out at the amount of calories I consume and probably should always consume in a day.  HATE.
(6) Juvederm - I MISS YOU!!!
(7) My extra tiny clothes....from the kids dept.  :( 
(8) My 30A boobs.  I HATE having boobs now..uugghhh.

Things I DO NOT Miss...
(1) Alcohol - I wasn't a big drinker anyway....just a social drinker.  And let's face it....when I drink socially, I consume enough alcohol to be a 500lb man!  Never a good situation.
(2) Running - I am scared to run....and I never really cared for it anyway.  I just did it because it was good for me.  Call me CRAZY!! lol....but I'm seriously scared the baby will be tossed around and die if I run.  HEY...I'm a new mom....give me a break.
(3) Being at everyone's beck and call because I was the person without kids.

I guess I also miss being tan...hmmm....can a pregnant gal get airbrushed???  Anyone know?? 

About a 10 on the Bitch-O-Meter!

Me and my other pregnant friends sorta laugh about this, but it is sooo awful!!! I've become a MAJOR bitch!  Okay, I've always had the capabilities of being the biggest bitch in town, but I always try to scale that shit back.  The way I see it....there is no reason to ever fight with someone (be it a friend, family member, or complete stranger).  HOWEVER, these pregnancy hormones are making me a little on the crazy side.  I've gone off on security at the airport....I've bitched out a lady at the gym...given attitude to people at the grocery store....AND FOR WHAT?!?!?  UUGGHH....I can't wait until this period of pregnancy is OVER! 

I went from being a very calm and patient being agitated every single second.  I go off on the smallest things.  Brian will say something (attempting to be helpful), and I completely lose it.  I hate being that irrational girl!!!  I'm NOT like that....that isn't me!  So....if you find yourself in the line of fire, just realize that I'm some sort of monster right now.  I will eventually get back to the calm, easy-going gal that has a filter.

I don't think I've offended anyone that I know, but if I have....I'm sorry.  I love you all....and just ignore me and my rants!! LOL  ...just like I ignore yours when you all go a little crazy!!! :)  {I think my mom definitely goes into this category....she gets the brunt of my bitch sessions...LOL }