Saturday, January 7, 2012

My 37 Week Appt, Horrible Grocery Trip, and Labor?!?!

The countdown is officially on!

On Tuesday (1/3/12), I visited my OB for my 37 week appointment.  All went rather well.  The baby had dropped and his head was pretty far down.  Now, I'm guessing he still has a bit more to drop, but I think he's working on it.  I am 2cm dilated (with a little help from my Dr).  My blood pressure was awesome (as usual), and I hadn't gained a pound in 3 weeks!  I didn't get an ultrasound to measure the baby or check his weight (that will be on Tuesday the 10th), but my OB thinks he will be a teeny tiny...perhaps around 7lbs or so.  Since I am pretty over the pregnancy thing, my OB decided we can induce me on the start of my 39th week.  We went ahead and booked my room at the hospital for January 17th at 6am.  SO... In ten days (or less if he decides to come), I will have my little Stanley cup!  :)  The stork is circling the neighborhood!!

Now, I left the appointment in a great mood.  Who wouldn't?!  I mean I was a little shaky and dizzy because I hadn't eaten lunch yet.  I just figured I'm a fat pregnant woman who needed I decided to stop by my home, eat quickly, and then get to my other errands.  I called my mom and let her know the countdown had begun.  I sent Brian a text, because I refuse to be that wife that bothers him during the day when I know he's busy working.  Everything was wonderful.  I got home and ate...and then... I started feeling a bit horrible.  Every muscle in my body started to ache.  I was cramping.  I felt seriously fatigued.  I felt... weird.  So, I did what any normal pregnant housewife does... I went to the grocery.

While at the grocery, I was walking around very slow (perhaps with a bit of a waddle/limp).  Every person in the damn grocery got on my nerves.  I went to get some apples, and some bitch would be hogging the whole apple section taking her sweet ass time.  I went to get bread, and some bitch was standing right in front of my brand I needed.  I tried to get through aisles, and some dumb bitch would park her cart in the center of the aisle and walk away from it.  When I got to the Lean Cuisines (hey - my husband likes them), some fat bitch was taking over the WHOLE Lean Cuisine area!  Cart in front of the frigid doors and her dumbass looking for something "good."  Meanwhile, I just went through the whole grocery doing some form of Lamaze breathing because the pain was getting too uncomfortable.  I had to squeeze my pregnant ass around her every move to get the exact Lean Cuisines my husband prefers while you could tell this was her first time getting ANYTHING low calorie (such a first timer).  I got the boxes after 5 minutes of fucking around with this idiot, and at that precise moment....I'd had enough of the grocery store people.  People don't judge me...I was highly agitated.  SO...I decided the best thing for me to say was, "Why are you even trying?  It's too late for you!"  Yes, I'm a horrible bitch, but for fuck sakes...I ALWAYS get out of the way when someone else is looking for a product, and I'm taking up the whole area.  Be aware people!  Look alive!  So...whatever... I don't regret saying it.  I made other comments to people that, "Yes, I see you are the ONLY person in the world today." just wasn't as bad as telling someone (in a round about way) they are fat and it was pointless to try to lose weight.  I don't feel that way.  I mean I watch 'The Biggest Loser''s NEVER too late!  She didn't say shit to me, but I'm sure she thought it was the pot calling the kettle black.  :) 

I managed to get home and get everything put away.  Of course, I was whimpering the whole time.  Nobody could hear my whimpers, but I continued them anyway.  I imagined the heavens would open up and hear my pathetic sounds and take the discomfort away.  However, I DID just basically tell a bitch she was fat, so I didn't exactly plan on being rewarded.  AND...damn...  I wasn't. 

The body aches got worse.  A small headache started (YES, it was a headache...not a migraine) it was 100% bearable.  The cramping got worse.  I could feel contractions starting.  AND...I started to feel feverish, but I had some serious chills.  Was death upon me??  Am I really being punished for being a pregnant bitch??  OR....was I in labor???  By 5:30pm, I sent Brian a text "BRIAN, YOU GOTTA COME HOME RIGHT NOW!"  In which he dropped everything and came home.  Then, we was time to visit Labor & Delivery..... 

(I'll continue the saga in the next blog)

1 comment:

  1. Lol.... Lol only you can make me laugh about a trip to the grocery store! I don't know of anybody who has the since of humor about being pregnant as you do. STANLEY MAN is really going to enjoy these stories one day. YOU AND BRIAN ARE GOING TO BE GREAT PARENTS. I can wait to meet them both. Excited for the birth of this amazing boy!!!