Monday, July 25, 2011

I... ATE... A ... HOT... DOG!

Okay, so last week I had a 3 day migraine.  Life pretty much sucked for those 3 days.  Staying in bed, rubbing and holding my head as hard as humanly possible, vomiting every time I stand up, and freaking out the whole time that my poor baby is feeling the effects of my stress.... SUCKS!  I've dealt with it before, and I will deal with it again (I'm sure).

So, getting migraines is very typical for me.  However, I ALWAYS believe it's more than just a migraine.  I'm almost ALWAYS positive I've got listeria.  (Quick Lesson for those that don't know what it is: Listeria is a type of bacteria that's found in water and soil, but it's been found in uncooked meats, uncooked vegetables, unpasteurized milk, food made from unpasteurized milk, and processed foods.  There's a chance that contamination may occur in ready-to-eat foods such as hot dogs and deli meats.)  So, that's why the Dr. always tells you not to eat deli meats or hot dogs.  OK..moving on.  So, I'm almost always certain I've got it!

I'm a bit of a hypochondriac (ok...I'm a full blown hypochondriac).  I'm just one of those people that feels an ache or a pain and immediately head to the computer for a diagnosis.  True story: When I first started taking Topamax for my migraines, I read up on it.  There is a TON of info about it of course I read it ALL!  I found where Topamax could cause kidney stones.  Well, about two months of taking the medication, I got sick.  My back hurt... I was vomiting for no reason.. super nauseous... and HELLO... apparently my medication could CAUSE kidney stones.  It seemed like a match to me.  I went to the Dr after coming to the realization that I have kidney stones... I really just needed the Dr. to tell me how we go forward in fixing this problem.  So, the Dr. had me take a pee test.  I just waited to hear the horrible news.  The Dr. came back in and said, "Sam, usually there is a little infection in everyone's urine, but yours had absolutely zero.  I've never even seen that.  There's absolutely no way you have kidney stones.  You probably just pulled a muscle in your back."  I was like, "Okay, I drink a lot of water, so I'm sure I've flushed all the infection out.  But are you SURE I don't have kidney stones?  I mean I think we need a plan of attack here."  He laughed at me... and told me he was 100% sure there were no kidney stones.  Of course, then we laughed at how ridiculous I am.  The nurses got a kick out of it too.... so ya know... if I can be a comedy relief for some hardworking people... so be it!  I can't help it...I'm just always sure they are missing something.  Although, it's better to be mentally prepared for the worst and hear the best... than visa versa.  So.... as I was saying...

I'm always positive I have listeria.  I called my OB on Friday and talked to a nurse.  I told her my whole migraine history... then I confessed the worst thing of all.  I... ATE... A... HOT DOG.. AT ... THE.. CARDINALS ... GAME... 2 WEEKS.. AGO!  Shit, I'm a bad mother already!  I KNEW I wasn't supposed to do it... I knew it!  BUT.... damn.. they looked so gooooood! It was only ONE!  And all of the food was free (ok...not that that even matters)... and well... DAMN... at least I didn't have a cocktail and do LSD!!  Right?!?!  Okay, so I was thinking the nurse would tell me I needed to haul my ass into the ER, because I had killed my child and possibly myself with a hot dog.  Thankfully, she told me that she was positive that I didn't have listeria.  I, again, asked the professional..."Are you sure?"  She told me not to worry and called in two prescriptions for me: (1) pills for a migraine (basically like a hardcore it does nothing really)... (2) Anti-nausea pills.  Once Brian picked up my pills, I felt better.  The anti-nausea pill rocks.  I was able to eat again... just NO hot dogs. 

So, I'm coming to realize every single time my child gets sick... we WILL be heading to the Dr.  Even if they have a common cold, I will be positive it's much worse.  Ugh.... Thank God I have great insurance.  

PS: My poor mother and husband get a ton of phone calls from my ass claiming I'm dying of something...  they deserve medals.  They're always able to talk me off the ledge ;)

1 comment:

  1. Sam, You are so funny.....I love your stories, please write a book! Will be a best seller. ♡