I won't go into the weekend I had with the step-kids, because it was a "so-so" weekend. Frankly, I don't even care right now to write about the small things that irritate me the most. In my mind, it's not apart of my life on the daily, so I can't be worried with it.
So, as my stomach starts to expand, and I desperately long for the days of the size 0's in my closet, I find myself actually feeling much better about being pregnant. I mean... I didn't hate it before... ok, yes... yes, I did! The first trimester was a BITCH! I was constantly bloated... constantly feeling like crap... constantly tired. Now, I have much more energy. Sure, I'm still tired but not bone chilling exhaust like before. Sure, I still have acne like an 8th grader, but I'm embracing my new flawed face. lol - not really.. but whatever. I'm back to working out every day. Do I wish I could work out like 4 times a day?? ABSOLUTELY! But... I also want a healthy baby... and baby always comes first.
My next appointment is on Friday. I'm switching Dr.'s, because I wasn't so thrilled about my first Doc. He was boring... zero personality ... and older than dirt. That really doesn't fit my personality. Someone who is going to deliver my child ... BETTER HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR! I can see myself attempting to joke around while in pain from child birth...it's very much my way. So, I need someone cool.
I did a walk-through of the hospital I'm going to be giving birth at. It was a weird experience. There were like 9 mommies-to-be in the group. The majority brought their spouses... two women were alone.. and I went with my friend Darcy. Darcy is due in 9 weeks... so we thought we'd go together. Besides... Brian is too busy with work for silly things like a hospital walk-through. He will figure out where everything is when I have my baby... he's intelligent... and can figure out how to ask randoms where to go! ;) So, everyone in our group were going to be NEW MOMMIES!! (Well, except Darcy, she has an ADORABLE two-year-old who is beyond cute and intelligent). So, a lot of questions were being asked. One girl asked the nurse, "So, what drugs can I take besides the epidural? I don't want to feel any pain." The nurse looked at her like she was a damn fool. The nurse said, " Ummm... honey, you are going to be having a baby. It isn't going to feel great. You are going to have some pain." DUH! Some of the questions were rather ridiculous. One lady asked, "So, how long do we have to stay in here? I'm scared and irked by hospitals." The nurse gave her the general answer (anywhere from 24-48hrs..depending on how you give birth/how you and baby are doing). I felt like these ladies were completely oblivious. I mean they all had their eyes popping out... looked scared to death. I was the ONLY one with a smile on my face the whole time.
I am mentally prepared for this. I realize squeezing out a baby isn't going to feel great. That's a given, but I'm not scared at all. The epidural scares a lot of women, but it doesn't scare me. And hospitals... pllleeasseee. I'm used to hospitals. When you basically have to visit your father every day who resided in a hospital for 4 months from the worst case of Pancreatitis Orlando, Florida has ever seen, hospitals don't really seem that alarming. The regular rooms or ICC rooms aren't bad to navigate through... it's the ICU rooms that become overwhelming.
When Brian had back surgery over a year ago, I pretty much showed him the ropes of a hospital. He didn't exactly take to it, but I get it. I got to show him what certain machines do and showed him a couple contraptions he wasn't familiar with. Annd... ya know.. taught him now NOT to get pneumonia. Even though he was only in there for a short time, I was always worried about him contracting C.Diff, Pneumonia, or Septicemia. Now...I knew the probability of him contracting something icky was very low, but it's like a natural reaction for me. The part of my brain that got used to phone calls telling me my dad had developed a fistula, the shingles, C.Diff, Pneumonia, Septicemia, etc... is still functioning. That part of my brain is alive and well...and living in the past. So, why am I not scared?? There is also a part of my brain that is RATIONAL. Am I going to contract those things? Of course not! I just don't even think about ME contracting those things. Besides... I have this weird section of my brain that honestly believes I could beat all of those things if I were to get them... like my dad. I am just certain I'm the strongest biotch alive.... if you disagree, you can just have a conversation with THAT section of my brain. ;)
So, I'm ready. I'm sure I will get anxiety more towards my due date, but I'm cool as a cucumber right now. I've said good-bye to my abs and stick legs that I worked soooo hard on... and embraced the baby roll. I'm waiting to find out the sex... and then... I WILL SHOP 'TIL I DROP! When I drop, I will just get online and start purchasing from there. Pink or Blue?? Pink or Blue?? I am sooo ready to know!!! And...I'm ready to start calling my baby by their first name... :)