Sunday, October 9, 2011
The Crying Game
Let me just discuss the uncontrollable crying one goes through when they are pregnant.
Ok, let me first say...I really don't cry! I'm not an overly emotional person. In fact, I don't understand those people who are that way. You know the types....they will cry about anything...anywhere.. anytime. Frankly, I would be embarrassed to be that type. I can't even be friends with those people....not because they are bad or anything...I just DO NOT understand those types. My step-daughter, almost 14-years-old, will cry about ANYTHING... ANYWHERE... ANYTIME! I wouldn't be caught dead crying in the middle of a crowd at Universal Studios ... or school... or the mall... BUT she does that. AND...I don't get it. I get you cry when you're a kid, but damn... when you reach like 10.... that crying shit looks silly. Now....I TOTALLY get crying over something serious or highly emotional. If you have a death in the family, a serious illness, or if you find out your parents are getting divorced, then I TOTALLY understand crying. I can even do the crying thing when you're happy for yourself or a loved one. That is all understandable to me. Ya know, I would hate those girls in school that would cry every time they got their feelings hurt. They were sooooo delicate, while everyone thought I was just hardcore (as if I didn't have feelings). I have feelings. I just don't choose to cry while I'm having a feeling. Do I cry? Absolutely! I'm just like everyone else. But I usually only cry when I'm really REALLY hurt. AND... I try very hard to cry with nobody else around. I guess I kind of see crying as a weakness. I will participate in the crying game but very rarely.
HOWEVER.... when you get pregnant, it's a whole new ballgame. I haven't been overly emotional thus far in my pregnancy, but sometimes I get a surge of this need to cry. Ok...it's really only happened twice, but that is quite enough for me. I've heard of pregnant ladies crying every single day....ugh... THAT would suck. I HOPE I don't turn into that type. UGH.
Two weeks ago, I was leaving the grocery after a long day of shopping and running errands. While I was shopping, I had this overwhelming sadness that came over me. I couldn't figure out what the issue was, but I just went with it. I started racking my brain for an explanation. I kept asking myself, "Sam, why the hell are you so sad? Did something happen today?" I couldn't figure it out. By the time I got out to the car, I felt like someone had just died. I threw my groceries in the car, got in, and CRIED my eyes out. I cried allllll the way home. AND...it wasn't a little sniffle here and there...it was a full out BAWLING my eyes out. As I pulled into my driveway, I just prayed that the neighbors weren't outside. I didn't want to explain that I was crying FOR NO REASON! Thank God they weren't out. I carried all my items in .... crying. I put up the groceries... crying. I sat down... cried...and cried... and CRIED!! It was sooo ridiculous. There was no reason for my crying...except that I'm pregnant and hormones make you ridiculous.
I went through the same thing this evening. I started bawling my eyes out for no reason. I'm just thankful this hasn't happened in front of anyone.
So, as I sit here, I currently have blood shot eyes that are super puffy. My cheeks are all red, and I look like hell. Pregnancy can make a woman beyond ridiculous....and super unattractive. Now, let me pick up this pile of Kleenex.