My Brush With Death...

I almost had a brush with death today!!  Okay, maybe not death...but serious injury!! 

I finally got over my 6 day migraine, so I was feeling sooo great!  I wanted to get out of the house and at least run some errands....aanndd  shop for Stanley.  Shopping for Stanley makes everything much MUCH better in life.  Okay, so I bought him some cute stuff at Baby Gap... and decided to head to the grocery store to get a few items (milk, bread, etc). 

SO...  I park my car and start walking into the grocery store.  I get up to the crosswalk into the grocery, and the car to my left stopped for me.  I did have the right of way...since I'm a pregnant pedestrian and all!  So, the car to my right is still rolling along, but the guy was driving slowly.  I sometimes drive slowly when someone is crossing the street too.... no reason to stop when you are somewhat far away.  HOWEVER, I always stop when I get near someone.  OK... so I pass the car on my left... no issue.  I notice the car traveling on my right is STILL ROLLING!  I assume this idiot is going to stop for me...since everyone else had noticed the fat pregnant woman waddling along.  I look over to my right...and DUDE ISN'T GOING TO STOP!  I tried to hurry as fast as I could across the street, which at this point isn't that damn fast.  AND the old F*CKBAG was within an inch (or less) of hitting my right leg!  I screamed, "Are you gonna f*cking see me or what?!?!"  Clearly.... he didn't even see me!!!  I quickly turned around in disbelief.  I couldn't believe that guy didn't see me.  WELL....this guy had to be 90 years old....with a handicapped tag hanging from his rear-view mirror.  This idiot shouldn't be driving.


Three boy-scouts were outside of the grocery and three of their fathers.  They were selling something...I was too frazzled to notice.  The men came running over... they couldn't believe that old man didn't see me.  One guy said, "Even after you yelled, I swear he never saw you."  They were all stunned that this old fart just NEVER saw me...even though it appeared he was looking right at me.  It's like he looked right through me.  As all the folks stood there in shock outside the grocery, I'm pretty sure we all thought the same thing.  SOMEONE upstairs HAD to be looking out for me and Stanley cakes.  Had he hit me....OMG... lord would have to have mercy on his soul.  Honestly, if he would have hit me, he probably wouldn't have even realized it....or his dumbass would have pushed on the gas in his confused state.  It could have been a very bad accident.  AND...if something would have happened to my sweet baby boy, that old man would be living his last hours....cause I already know myself or someone in my family would have shot him.  (AND...I don't mean shot in the head.  I mean shot in the legs and allowed him to bleed out in pain). 


So... after all that, I continued that task at hand...grocery shopping.  I was completely still in shock at what had just happened.  I called my mom immediately to tell her my brush with the old f*ckbag.  As I was shopping and complaining about the old piece of dirt, I see an old man on a RASCAL (ya know...the riding shopping carts for the elderly and disabled).  It was the guy that almost killed me!!!  AND....he took his rascal and ran right into a fully stacked shelf.  He ran into the shelf so hard... food fell off.  I couldn't believe my eyes....WHAT THE F*CK IS WRONG WITH THIS OLD PIECE OF DIRT?!?!


As I left the grocery, one of the boy-scout dads walked me across the street....STILL in disbelief of what he saw.  I told him, "That man should not be driving!  He is gonna kill someone."  I loaded my car up and left.  I see the old fart get into his car and start driving VERY SLOWLY away.  I pulled behind him and got his license plate number...I contemplated calling 911.  BUT...here was my mental struggle... is this an emergency??  I mean he ALMOST hit me, but he didn't actually hit me.  My whole thing was.... this man could possible kill someone.  What if a child had been walking across the street??  Or an elderly woman?  They wouldn't have been as lucky as I was.  I still didn't know if I should call the police.  Lord knows this man should NOT be driving.  I was praying a cop was in the vicinity...so I could stop and tell him to follow him (just so he could see this old man's driving skills).  I wasn't about to follow this old man very long...as he swerved all over the road.  It simply wasn't safe for me or my child to drive near him.  So, I stepped on the gas and my Jag got me the hell out of there.  I do regret not calling the authorities now.  I'm so afraid this guy is going to kill someone.  I still don't know what I could or should have done.  I've been struggling with it for hours....