So, Tuesday night I finally went to my Childcare CPR class. I was super excited because I've never taken a CPR class. Since I'm a new mom and more than likely going to be a freak about everything, I decided that I should prepare myself for everything and anything. CPR is a GREAT step!
The hospital only holds the class during the week (Tues) from 7-9pm. I didn't exactly like the evening time, but I figured it was worth it. The class is basically dedicated to all things necessary to keeping your child safe in the world around us. Here's how the class went...
I got there like 10 minutes early, because I'm just one of those excited
parents. I quickly realize that I'm an early bird, while the rest of the class
rolled in late. (side note: We had to start the class 10 minutes late because
of the slow creatures slithering in). Anyway...I had to sit in the front
because I get excited about all things knowledge. As we begin the class, it was
beyond obvious that I was the ONLY pregnant lady without her spouse…and there
were 10 couples! I immediately felt all
eyes on me....ya know, people wondering what the deal was. I was thanking GOD I
wore my rings. My engagement ring is getting a little tight so I don't always
put it on. Thankfully, I squeezed it on before I left. When people tend to see
a pregnant lady without a wedding ring, they start thinking weird things and
assume the worst. (Side note: My husband was out of town for work purposes;
otherwise, he would have absolutely been there with me).
The
class started out fine. I was pretty
aware of everything the instructor was telling us. I think a lot of it is common sense, although
common sense isn’t that common. It’s
really nice to reconfirm I’d make the right decision in case of an emergency
with my child. We were going over
different scenarios of problems that could arise in daily life…..doing the
“What-If” part of the class. I’m great
at this section because my mind always runs down crazy scenarios anyway. I thought I’d ask a bunch of questions
(ummm…I was the only one asking questions).
I just figure the instructor is there to answer anything I want to
know…so I ask away! There was only ONE
Q&A issue I had that made my head spin!
SO… The
instructor was talking about car seat safety.
She was going over how you are supposed to put the car seat in the back
of the vehicle and in the middle seat.
Well, I’ve heard this before, but I had some issues with that. I asked the instructor, “My husband has an
SUV, and there is no middle seat in the second row. So, do we put the car seat on the left or the
right?” She said, “Well, do you have a
third row that has a middle/full seat?”
I said, “Yes.” She said, “Well…do
you really want to know the answer to this question?” I thought…No, I was just asking to hear
myself speak. Idiot! I replied, “Well….yea.” She said, “You will have to put the car seat
way in the back in the third row…in the middle.” I thought…ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? Who does that? I mean… my husband is expected to crawl all
up in the back of his SUV just to get our baby in a damn car seat? I’m little and that would be a huge task for
me to complete. SO…this brought me to my
next question….
I asked
the instructor, “Okay, I have a car and am I really supposed to put the baby in
the middle seat? I mean what if I’m in a
parking lot and struggling to get in the back of my vehicle just to secure my
son…and some person comes along and robs me at gunpoint because I’m focusing on
my child and not paying attention to my surroundings?? Am I really supposed to do all that?” The class started laughing a little because I
think it was a valid and yet bordering ridiculous question. So… the instructor says, “Yep, you gotta do
it.” She didn’t answer the gunpoint
question. (shitty face). THEN (here is the point where I got crazy)…
some ugly-ass bitch from across the room says, “Well, looks like you need a new
car!” I asked her to repeat herself in
which she did. And…the whole room started
to chuckle at the whole scenario. I
immediately got PISSED! I said, “Are you
kidding me? I drive a JAG! It’s brand new…I don’t think I’m going to be
giving that up anytime soon. I mean
would you give up a Jag?” The men in the
room all said, “No! NO! I wouldn’t give
up no Jag!” Well…fuck no! It’s a very reliable car…it’s not like I’m
driving the BMW Z4 two-seater convertible anymore. I had to give up two-seaters for family
life. So…what was her reply, you
ask?? She said, “Oh.” OH?!
That was the best thing she should say?? Oh?! Bitch stepped to me as if I was some peasant
rolling around in a broken down piece of shit…and she says OH?!??! I WANTED to say, “Bitch, what the fuck do you
drive? From the looks of your haggard
face and clothing, I’m guessing YOU probably need a new car. You probably drive a clunker that breaks down
every five minutes. It’s probably one step
up from a Schwinn Bicycle. Ya dumb bitch!”
Thankfully, I didn’t say all of that, but I didn’t understand why she
thought I needed a new car based on the fact that I was just asking
questions.
Overall,
I enjoyed what I learned in the class, and I’m glad I decided to take it. I feel super confident I can give CPR to a
baby/toddler/adult. We must always
expect the unexpected. And…I learned
that if someone makes a ridiculous comment to me…I’m able to bite my tongue (AS
MUCH AS I DON’T WANT TO). After class, I got in my Jag and sped off...hoping I'd run over the haggard bitch.
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