35 Week Update!!!

35  1/2 week update.....

I'm due on January 24....which means I have 33 days left!!  Of course, I'm not a fool to think I will actually deliver on my due date, so I can just say that Stanley will be here soon!  Here is what's going on....

(1) Good-bye sleep: I haven't had a good nights sleep since I actually got pregnant.  The endless waking up in the middle of the night to pee (2-4x's a night), the uncomfortable weight in my mid-section that keeps me rolling around all night, and the awesome nasal congestion (Rhinitis) makes for a sleepless concoction.  And...the kicker...I finally have dark under-eye circles!!!  THIS is the most recent thing, and it makes me crazy!  NO amount of makeup will cover these under-eye circles.  They aren't bags...just dark, thick rims that hang out under my eye.  I am hoping to GOD this goes away after pregnancy....or at least when I can start getting more sound sleep.  Otherwise, my ass will be running to the nearest Dermatologist as soon as Stanley gets here for cosmetic procedures.  I understand that pregnancy is not a glamorous time, but I refuse to go downhill that f'n quickly.  I can't wait to get these wrinkles filled in... I'm starting to look like a fat, wrinkled grandma. 

(2)  Hair Issues:  My hair came in super thick when I got pregnant.. as if this horses tail actually needed thickening.  The only problem is the shedding.  I shed like a German f*ckin Shepard.  There are blonde hairs EVERYWHERE!  You could seriously make a quilt with the hair I lose everyday.  I'm starting to think Brian wants to make a toupee out of all this hair.  If I were him, I'd probably wonder why some people have sooo much while others have sooo little.  Ok...I'm joking.  He could care less about hair.  Thankfully, my parents have ridiculously thick hair...so no matter how much I shed... I still have a thick head of hair.  I just have to carry lint rollers with me wherever I go. 

Now...everyone knows I dye this mop.  I am not really sure how light or dark my natural hair is because it started to darken in middle school, and I've been doing the roots ever since high school.  I also started doing high-lights years ago...to give my hair that extra pop of blonde.  The problem: My hair doesn't exactly like taking hair dye now.  Yes, I still dye my hair.  I know some ladies stop when they get pregnant, but I haven't.  I know PLENTY of people that dye their hair during pregnancy and nothing ever happens to the baby...I consider it an old wives tale that you can't dye while pregnant.  Anyway... my hair doesn't exactly look super blonde anymore.  It's more of a strawberry blonde... golden... brassy color.  And..it looks dull.  Some folks warned me this could happen.  Apparently your hormones go crazy, and the dye doesn't exactly take the way it did before.  This also irritates the sh*t out of me.  How am I supposed to look like a decent fat woman when my hair is all different colors??!?  Ok..ok.. it isn't that bad, but I notice a different and it irritates me.  I'm thinking about going straight platinum after the baby gets here....I'm ready to see some serious BLONDE!

(3) Contractions:  Ahh... the amazing contractions.  I started getting Braxton Hicks contractions weeks ago.  They, of course, freaked me out, but I had no idea how bad they would get.  And by bad I just mean intense enough for me to think I might be going into pre-term labor.  They don't hurt...well at least I don't think they do.  They are accompanied by cramping (something like a horrific menstrual cramp).  I never had a lot of cramps with my periods, so this is all new.  I have noticed these contractions are an everyday thing.  I get tons of them.  I read somewhere that if you have a lot of contractions in your third trimester it's actually a good thing.  Your body is not only getting ready for big day, but it won't be as difficult while in actual labor.  I'm hoping the latter is true! 

(4) Did I mention how tired I am???  Caffeine, my old friend, I miss you.  I know we see each other for a little bit every day (I have a can of diet soda every day for lunch...so sue me)...BUT it isn't enough.  I miss seeing you allllllll throughout the day.  I promise we will hang out much more when the baby comes.  Until then.... my heart bleeds for you.

**I still think my pregnancy has been fairly easy compared to some of the horror stories I've heard.  I'm just ready to see my little man and get into a rhythm of every day life with my new best friend.  I'm ready to work out like I used to.... I'm ready to have this back pain come to a halt... I'm ready to have MY body back to being just mine... I'm ready to not look like such a bloated, nasty animal... I'm ready for my new life to begin.

Hospital Bags Packed????

When to pack a bag....

So, I've heard of pregnant women that pack their hospital bag at 30 weeks, and I've heard of women that pack right before rushing out the door after their water breaks.  I've decided I will pack this week...35 weeks sounds pretty good to me.  Now, I have a list of everything I'm going to pack for me, Stanley, and Brian.  Yes, I will unfortunately be packing Brian's bag too.  If I left it up to him, he would pack everything he didn't need and forget the essentials. 

I feel I have such a long list of everything I need to pack, but I'm wondering if I'm really going to need all of this stuff.  AND....I've heard people tell me that they forgot things that didn't appear on any "Things you should pack" list. 

So....my question to all the mom's out there...  What was the absolute essential top 5 things you needed, what were the things you absolutely didn't need, and what would you tell a first timer to bring (perhaps something that gets overlooked on these lists)????

I would appreciate the feedback!!  Either comment on this blog or write to me on fb!! :)  All you mommy's have been super helpful this far!!

The Best & Worst of Pregnancy Coming To An End...

For the past couple of weeks, I've had the absolutely best and worst time being pregnant.  I thought I'd save the best for last.... so here we go...

Worst: It's impossible to sleep.  Sure, I get a couple of hours and wake up.  Go back to sleep....and then a couple of hours later I'm up again.  I have permanent eye bags.  My friends that have newborns assure me that I will get more sleep when he's actually here.  Sure...he won't always sleep through the night (blah, blah, blah), but at least I can go back to sleeping on my stomach and getting comfortable enough that when I do get in bed...it's all Zzzzz's!  I still get up every 2 hours to pee.  My OB says I need to cut off the water intake around 6pm.  However, I get so thirsty at night.  So..I usually end up drinking a bottle or two of water prior to bed time.  Whatever...I'm thirsty.  I can't help it.

As far as my weight, I've somehow managed to really pull out a big win during my third trimester.  (Weight gain or stability will always go in the "worst part of pregnancy" category, since it isn't losing pounds!!)  A lot of ladies have told me this was their real "gaining weight" trimester.  Luckily, my weight has seriously stabilized.  I literally have to gorge myself just to stay at the weight I'm at.  My body really wants to lose pounds.  He's gaining and is healthy so that's all that matters.  I've really had no food cravings, and I've not really been interested in eating.  I only eat because I feel he needs it.  My baby bump appears to be somewhat small to what I figured it would look like at this point.  Yes, I still have a belly button.  My boobs are massive, but I've let that issue go.  They are milk machine's for my new best friend....simple as that.

Back pain. Ahh...the amazing back pain.  It isn't severe every day, but it is most days.  Getting up out of bed..... getting up out of a chair.... rolling around in bed... PAINFUL!  It's like little Keebler elves are inside my lower back just shredding it with knives.  It's a pain that I've grown to deal with.  Yes, I look like an old woman trying to get up and get moving, but I figure it won't last forever.

A little more anxiety has floated my way.  To me, it's so surreal that I'm pregnant... I am having a baby boy... and I'm going to be a mom.  I am going to be in serious charge of someone for a VERY long time.  His survival is up to me.  I have to get him from baby status to man status.  Whoa... that is a huge task.  Yes, Brian and family will help me get him from point A to point B, but I always tend to think I have to be prepared for anything...and to do it on my own.  I mean seriously...what if something happened to Brian??  Or my family???  I would have to be able to deal with whatever comes my way.  I've always considered myself a bit of an overachiever.  I've worked my ass off for practically every damn thing I've achieved, so I just have to keep telling myself... I CAN DO THIS!  I think a little self doubt can be a great tool in achieving great successes in life.    

Enough of the worst part....on to the BEST PART of pregnancy....

BEST: The absolute best part of my day is when Stanley is up and moving around.  I'm convinced this child doesn't need a lot of sleep, because he tends to be awake more than asleep.  When I walk on the treadmill, he thinks it's time to walk too.  His legs stretch out at the top of my abdomen, and they start a walking motion.  He flails his arms about and punches my bladder to the point I double over.  If he wants to work out with his mommy, then I'm okay with that!!

He has incredibly strong legs.  At night time (and certain parts of the day), he has really gotten into stretching out his legs.  I turn over on my side so he doesn't kill my top abdomen....the part that has NOT wanted to stretch out at all.  The cutest little boy in the world stretches his feet out so I can rub them.  One night...he popped out a good two inches.  You could absolutely tell it was a foot hanging out...and omg... feeling those baby feetsies is something I can't even describe.  I LOVE those feet!  Brian, of course, seems to always miss his feet.  He is either out of town, sleeping, or working.  I don't think Brian thought it was possible to see these feet so clearly until for ONCE he saw them for himself.  Two nights ago, we hosted a Holiday Dinner for his company.  After we got home, Stanley was up and ready to stretch.  For once, Brian was up and was able to see a baby foot come stretching out the side of my stomach.  He could NOT believe it.  He got to rub on his little feetsies... in complete disbelief.  I love every kick and every stretch...I can see that being the only part of pregnancy I miss.

My feet!!!  Now, I hear a lot of women complain their feet got huge when they were pregnant.  Some women say their feet grew so much they never went back to the same shoe size (aanndd they have all these shoes they can no longer wear).  Thankfully, my foot hasn't grown at all!!  My little foot is still a little foot!  I wore my black party heels just the other night... who says pregnant women can't wear heels?!?!?


So... I really don't have many complaints.  I get acid reflux here and there... I don't sleep... I'm large... BUT I believe these are just temporary issues.  The reward at the end of all this (just 5 weeks away) is worth sooo much more.  I can't wait to see him and hold him...and I'm ready to rub those feet in person.

CPR Class....with attitude!

T-minus 7 weeks...and counting!

So, Tuesday night I finally went to my Childcare CPR class. I was super excited because I've never taken a CPR class. Since I'm a new mom and more than likely going to be a freak about everything, I decided that I should prepare myself for everything and anything. CPR is a GREAT step!
The hospital only holds the class during the week (Tues) from 7-9pm. I didn't exactly like the evening time, but I figured it was worth it. The class is basically dedicated to all things necessary to keeping your child safe in the world around us. Here's how the class went...

I got there like 10 minutes early, because I'm just one of those excited parents. I quickly realize that I'm an early bird, while the rest of the class rolled in late. (side note: We had to start the class 10 minutes late because of the slow creatures slithering in). Anyway...I had to sit in the front because I get excited about all things knowledge. As we begin the class, it was beyond obvious that I was the ONLY pregnant lady without her spouse…and there were 10 couples!  I immediately felt all eyes on me....ya know, people wondering what the deal was. I was thanking GOD I wore my rings. My engagement ring is getting a little tight so I don't always put it on. Thankfully, I squeezed it on before I left. When people tend to see a pregnant lady without a wedding ring, they start thinking weird things and assume the worst. (Side note: My husband was out of town for work purposes; otherwise, he would have absolutely been there with me).

The class started out fine.  I was pretty aware of everything the instructor was telling us.  I think a lot of it is common sense, although common sense isn’t that common.  It’s really nice to reconfirm I’d make the right decision in case of an emergency with my child.  We were going over different scenarios of problems that could arise in daily life…..doing the “What-If” part of the class.  I’m great at this section because my mind always runs down crazy scenarios anyway.  I thought I’d ask a bunch of questions (ummm…I was the only one asking questions).  I just figure the instructor is there to answer anything I want to know…so I ask away!  There was only ONE Q&A issue I had that made my head spin!

SO… The instructor was talking about car seat safety.  She was going over how you are supposed to put the car seat in the back of the vehicle and in the middle seat.  Well, I’ve heard this before, but I had some issues with that.  I asked the instructor, “My husband has an SUV, and there is no middle seat in the second row.  So, do we put the car seat on the left or the right?”  She said, “Well, do you have a third row that has a middle/full seat?”  I said, “Yes.”  She said, “Well…do you really want to know the answer to this question?”  I thought…No, I was just asking to hear myself speak.  Idiot!  I replied, “Well….yea.”  She said, “You will have to put the car seat way in the back in the third row…in the middle.”  I thought…ARE YOU KIDDING ME??  Who does that?  I mean… my husband is expected to crawl all up in the back of his SUV just to get our baby in a damn car seat?  I’m little and that would be a huge task for me to complete.  SO…this brought me to my next question….

I asked the instructor, “Okay, I have a car and am I really supposed to put the baby in the middle seat?  I mean what if I’m in a parking lot and struggling to get in the back of my vehicle just to secure my son…and some person comes along and robs me at gunpoint because I’m focusing on my child and not paying attention to my surroundings??  Am I really supposed to do all that?”  The class started laughing a little because I think it was a valid and yet bordering ridiculous question.  So… the instructor says, “Yep, you gotta do it.”  She didn’t answer the gunpoint question.  (shitty face).  THEN (here is the point where I got crazy)… some ugly-ass bitch from across the room says, “Well, looks like you need a new car!”  I asked her to repeat herself in which she did.  And…the whole room started to chuckle at the whole scenario.  I immediately got PISSED!  I said, “Are you kidding me?  I drive a JAG!  It’s brand new…I don’t think I’m going to be giving that up anytime soon.  I mean would you give up a Jag?”  The men in the room all said, “No! NO!  I wouldn’t give up no Jag!”  Well…fuck no!  It’s a very reliable car…it’s not like I’m driving the BMW Z4 two-seater convertible anymore.  I had to give up two-seaters for family life.  So…what was her reply, you ask??  She said, “Oh.”  OH?!  That was the best thing she should say?? Oh?!  Bitch stepped to me as if I was some peasant rolling around in a broken down piece of shit…and she says OH?!??!  I WANTED to say, “Bitch, what the fuck do you drive?  From the looks of your haggard face and clothing, I’m guessing YOU probably need a new car.  You probably drive a clunker that breaks down every five minutes.  It’s probably one step up from a Schwinn Bicycle. Ya dumb bitch!”  Thankfully, I didn’t say all of that, but I didn’t understand why she thought I needed a new car based on the fact that I was just asking questions.  

Overall, I enjoyed what I learned in the class, and I’m glad I decided to take it.  I feel super confident I can give CPR to a baby/toddler/adult.  We must always expect the unexpected.  And…I learned that if someone makes a ridiculous comment to me…I’m able to bite my tongue (AS MUCH AS I DON’T WANT TO).  After class, I got in my Jag and sped off...hoping I'd run over the haggard bitch.  

Happy Thanksgiving!

I wanted to wish everyone a HAPPY & SAFE THANKSGIVING! 

I'm very thankful for my husband, Stanley, family, and friends.  I have been unbelievably blessed in life.  I hope everyone is thankful for every single blessing in their life.  And please remember:  The things we don't recognize as blessings might just turn into a blessing down the road.  I can't tell you how many times I felt down on my luck... unhappy... or like I made a poor decision in life.  There was a time when I didn't feel overly blessed.  You must always remember that trying times get us to where we need to be down the road.  SO....always be thankful... even if you're going through a tough time.  What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.  Be thankful for trying times and rocky roads.  Be thankful for what you have...not what you don't have.  Be thankful for every single person in your life.  Be thankful for being YOU! 

Now.....go eat some TURKEY  .... Gobble Gobble!! :)

Update: 31 weeks!

Update: This is nothing major....just updating on my current pregnant condition. 

I'm 31 weeks into my pregnancy. First thought: WOW...this has gone so fast!!  And...I assume it doesn't intend on slowing down, since the holiday's always seem to speed everything up!  I can't tell you how pleased I am with that!

Belly Button: Yes, I still have a belly button!  I think it's trying to disappear, but it's still holding very strong.  I have 9 weeks left, so I'm wondering when it's going to disappear (if at all).  I don't think at this point I'm in the running to be one of those ladies with the "poking out" type of belly button.  Not that any of that really matters, but it's like a small victory in my mind.  And what is up with the belly button ring question??  I can't tell you how many freaking people have asked me if I had to take my belly button ring out.  I HAVE NEVER EVER had a belly button ring...nor will I ever.   That was never my style....because frankly I don't show my belly unless it's bikini season.  Now, with that said, if you DO have a belly button ring... good for you.  I'm not saying anything negative about belly button rings.  Lord knows...Everyone gets so offended by shit I say.  I like piercings just as much as I love tattoo's.  AANNDD... a very large majority of  my friends have all kinds of piercings: belly buttons, nipples, tongue rings, and everything else you can imagine.  So, no need to flip out because I say they aren't for me.  MMMMMKKKK.

Weight:  No...I will not be telling you my weight.  I will tell you my weight AFTER I lose it all.  All I will say about it.... I haven't gained a pound in almost 3 weeks.  My Doctor thinks my weight is perfect...and my child is very healthy.  Will I bitch about  my overall weight gain??  Absolutely!  A year ago I'd bitch if I was over 100lbs (sad but true).  It's my thing.... so don't judge me.  People have already said, "Do NOT get as skinny as you were before you got pregnant!"  Plus, they add a weight they think would be perfect for me.  I appreciate your concern or opinion; however, I GOT THIS!! Shooot.... I worry about my weight more than anyone ever could... so before you say anything...I ALREADY KNOW!! :)  My first priority in life is my child....not my weight.  Even though I won't be letting myself go, like a certain person told me (obviously this person is no longer my friend...lol), I still intend on being just as healthy as I always have been.  NUFF SAID!

Appearance: Weight is one thing....my overall appearance is another.  Yes, I have added some extra chunk, but IMHO I don't even resemble the person I used to be.  I NEVER get a manicure anymore.  I NEVER get a spray tan.  I NEVER wear cute clothes (kind of hard at this point anyway).  I RARELY wear makeup.  It's like...what is the point?!  Being tan, properly manicured, and dressed up is NOT going to make me look that much better.  It's a mess.  I usually wear my husband's PJ's around the house, because they are so large.  I honestly prefer them over anything else.  And...I don't even own makeup for this pale of skin.  My husband tells me to go out and buy a bunch of maternity clothes... pj's... makeup... whatever I want.  BUT... everyone who knows me already knows...I'm a huge cheapskate.  I don't see the point in buying a ton of maternity clothes when I won't be staying this size.  Yes, I've purchased some clothes because I can't wear my husbands pj's out of the house...but overall... I just refuse to buy a bunch of clothes that aren't really my style anyway.  I've always hated spending money on clothes...I never saw the point.  You're either a good looking person or you aren't....expensive clothes aren't going to make anything better.  I'd rather spend my time buying my child clothes...ya know... clothes he will be growing out of pretty much as soon as he arrives.  :)

Topic of Conversation:  I want to talk about Stanley...and then I want to talk about Stanley some more...and THEN after that...I would like to continue talking about him.  The number one topic on my mind is my child.  Yes, I will talk to my worst enemy if they want to discuss how cute my child is.  Absolutely!  Yes, I can't wait to go to the doctor because it's all about his health.  Yes, even though I am the biggest cheapskate in the world, I have no problem dropping massive amounts of money on anything that has to do with him.  I don't even think twice about it.  If you get me on the phone, I will tell you about his kicks and how cute he is.  I got those 4D ultrasound pictures over a week ago, and I'm still not done talking about them.  I always wonder if it gets annoying to people.  I never got annoyed or get annoyed when other people talk about their children.  I love hearing stories about kids... they say and do cute things!  Who wouldn't want to hear about that?  I honestly try to dial it down....I don't want people to think I only care about Stanley.  I can't help it though... he already does cute things...and I want to talk about it all the time.

What's Stanley up to??:  Well, he kicks pretty much allll day.  Sometimes I wonder if he doesn't need naps.  The child is constantly moving.  He pretty much stays balled up (I know because I can feel where his powerful legs are).  Certain times throughout the day he does like to try the stretching out thing.  His feet go right to the tippy top of my stomach....and he pushes his foot out and leaves it for awhile.  It tend to make my whole body move...so I jerk a lot.  Yea, it looks like I'm going through something.  He sometimes hits the top of my rib, which I think tickles.  He just started kicking at my ribs on the side which pretty much sucks.  It's like a sharp pain... it's not my favorite... but totally bearable.   I can't be mad at him for trying to stretch and grow.  I do have a very short torso...so it's not like he has a ton of room.  We're getting our 2nd 4D ultrasound in 2 weeks...so I'm hoping he keeps his hands and feet out of his face.  I just love seeing his sweet little face.

Other Topics:  Acne is all gone...thank GOD!  The boobs are still massive and getting bigger, but I've gotten over bitching about them.  I just see them as milk tanks for my precious angel.  They won't be there forever... I'm ready to be an A again!  Swelling...I have been extremely lucky in this department.  I only swell when I travel....and my Doc has told me I'm done with traveling!  So, my fingers tend to swell a little ... that engagement ring is getting a little tight.  I can still wear it, but some days it's a little tighter than others.  I usually just wear my wedding ring with my right hand diamond ring.  My left hand and right hand ring fingers are different sizes.  As far as my ring fingers go.... Left hand sizes in at a 4 1/4... my right hand sizes in at a 4 1/2.  So I just leave my gorgeous engagement ring in a box...and the right hand ring goes to my left...it looks a little like I'm trying to create a diamond ring sleeve on my left ring finger.  Back pain...unreal.  It feels a little like someone is trying to slice my back with a sharp knife every-time I try to lift something or get up or turn over in bed.  It doesn't really bother me as long as it goes away when my lil punkin gets here...otherwise I am gonna have trouble lifting him.  I also see ladies having issues shaving when they're pregnant, but I haven't had any issues with that yet.  I have 9 weeks left, but the shaving is just as easy as it always was.  Perhaps we shouldn't believe everything we see on TV! :)

Go Through A Little Panic!

Throughout the day, I get super excited and antsy to have my little boy!  I think of all the things we will get to do together....all the outfits I'm gonna put him in... and all the great moments we get to share.  BUT... at nighttime, I go through a little panic.  At night, when I'm in bed, I start thinking about the person he will turn out to be.  I mean there are soooo many different types of men in the world.  Some are successful, some are lazy, some are intelligent, some are assholes, some are players, and some are the nicest guys in the world.  I, like any other parent, want my child to be the best he can be.  AND... I know that all starts with good parenting.

When I run into a guy (or person for that matter) that really sucks, I think to myself...WOW, his parents didn't go a very good job and someone obviously didn't love him enough.  Now, I completely understand every parent makes mistakes.  I am not going to freak out over every little thing I do wrong, but I would like a game plan on how to get him to where he needs to be in life.  I think I have to start drilling him with the important things: always do what is right in your heart, treat others as you would want to be treated, don't lie (especially to mommy) and never take anything for granted.  I want him to be humble... appreciate what he has.  He should never covet.  I don't know why anyone would actually want to be like someone else or have what someone else has.  If you can't accomplish it on your own or obtain it on your own, then you don't deserve it...it was never meant to be yours.  He should have goals...and I will do my absolute best to help him achieve those goals (no matter what they are).  Yes, I would like my child to make straight A's, go to a great college, and become a very successful person.  BUT... I fully understand that it isn't my path to take.... it is my baby boy's path to take....I just get to go along for the beautiful ride.  Of course I will drill into his head that education is VERY important, but I have to accept that he may not want to go to college.... he might want to move to Hollywood and become an actor... or be a truck driver... or be a club promoter.  I mean...it's his choice.  BUT...It doesn't mean I won't try to guide him into doing what I want! :)   

I look at other men in the world (my husband, men in my family, guy friends, guy's I know) and I would like to pull the best traits from those men and place them in my little boy.  I want him to be goal oriented, smart, a good friend, social, kind, a man's man, emotional (at times when appropriate), realistic, and a real gentleman.  Sure I have a million more...but we can start with those.  I want him to respect all women.  Although, I don't want a woman to walk all over him.  I hate those men with zero backbone and let women walk all over them.  I won't have my son following a loser woman around like a puppy.  He needs to go for the right woman.... someone that is his match.  I refuse for him to marry a lazy woman who has zero skills or a brain, for that matter. It MUST be someone mommy likes!!! (now...I ask you... is that possible to really like your daughter-in-law??? OR....your mother-in-law???)  I am doubtful, but I will try to get the best possible outcome! 

These are just a kernel of thoughts that run through my head.  Should I worry this early about his outcome??  I don't think it's unreasonable.  I just want the best for my child....like every other parent ... good parent, that is! :)

My First Baby Class!

Last weekend I went to my first baby class!!  It was called 'From Pregnancy to Parenthood."  Now, they have these classes during the week, but they are night classes.  I don't do night classes.  My husband is out of town too much for me to spend anymore time away from him.  SO... I made him take the all day Saturday class with me!  8am-4pm!  Here's how it went...

We were the first ones to arrive.  Naturally, we took seats in the very front of the class....I always preferred sitting in the front of the class.  Anywho... as 12 couples rolled in slowly (majority were late)... it was obvious I was the most excited to be there!  Nobody else really seemed that enthusiastic, but I figured they were just having pregnancy irritability issues.  We started our class by introducing ourselves, stating our due date, and saying whether we were having a boy or a girl.  Some people whispered their names and seemed so unsure of what was going on.  When it came my turn, I was beyond excited to shout out my name and tell everyone I was having a BOY!  To say I was overly enthused... is QUITE an understatement.  (I immediately had a flash back to a college theater class where my professor called me 'Bubbles' because I was super bubbly.) 

So ... we get into the subject of pregnancy.  What to expect during our final months... when to call your Doctor... etc.  I knew all of this stuff.  The day after I found out I was having a baby...I went out and bought a bunch of pregnancy books and read them from front to back.  I also have a great group of friends that have shared their stories of pregnancy with me.... they are very helpful in preparing their little Sammy friend.  Ok... so the instructor broke us up into groups for a small exercise.  The men went into another room, while us ladies stayed put.  We were all to come up with the TOP 10 issues or concerns we were going through (regarding the pregnancy).  One of the ladies took to a large sheet of paper and started writing down our issues (as we all yelled them out). (1) Swelling (2) Back Pain (3) Insomnia (4) Moving is harder (5) Hormonal (6) Worry (7) Heartburn (8) Crazy Cravings (9) Uncomfortable (10)... nobody could seem to come up with anything else.  I thought...ARE YOU ALL CRAZY?!?!  I immediately scream out ..WEIGHT GAIN!  Considering I was one of the smallest ladies in the room, I assumed someone would have yelled that out first.  So...my contribution was fatso complaining.  Does that surprise anyone?? 

The men finally come in with their TOP 10 list of concerns/issues.  As I quickly scroll down the list with my eyes, I look to Brian and ask, "Omigod, which one did you contribute?"  He said, "I didn't say anything. These guys had everything under the sun to complain about, but I wasn't about to participate."  I give him that look (you know the one....like... Are you bullshitting me?).  He knows that look very well.  He says,"I swear I didn't say one thing." So... the guy's list... (1) No more independence (2) Lack of sleep (3) Money (4) Caring for an infant (5) Lack/no sex (6) Wife's body changes (7) Dealing with her attitude (8) Having to do more (9) Worry (10) Am I ready?  

The instructor starts getting into our concerns/issues one by one.  The females list was much easier to get through... it is what we bitch about every single day.  No surprise to anyone.  While going through the men's list, NO MAN wanted to admit certain issues they contributed.  I immediately knew Brian didn't have those issues..well maybe (7) Dealing with her attitude.  ;)  That's anytime though...not just pregnancy related! LOL. Otherwise, I quickly realized none of that had anything to do with him.... I knew he was telling the truth.  As we went through the list, the women started getting pissy.  No more independence??  Caring for an infant??  Having to do more??  Am I ready??  Well... damn... if you men weren't ready, then you shouldn't be bangin your ladies!  The HUGE issue the women had... "Wife's body changes."  The instructor asked who had that concern....NOBODY said anything.  Some guy raised his hand and said, "Ok...I swear I didn't say that one, but the guy that did said he didn't really care for the way his wife looked and he was worried she would never look the same again."  The ladies quickly looked at their men.  I asked Brian, "Which dumbass said that?"  He wrote down on a piece of paper..."Orange Shirt."  LOL - I immediately look at the dude in the orange shirt....Not even close to attractive.  His poor wife has no idea that he thinks she is unattractive... but his loser ass should look in a mirror and drop about 100lbs.

We finished up the first portion of the class and took a hospital tour (which I'd already taken).  Brian hadn't seen the brand new hospital yet, so he enjoyed it.  As we walked around, we heard a lullaby come over the intercom.  Apparently, whenever a lullaby plays throughout the hospital, it means a new baby has just been born.  I thought that was very cute...and I realized someday that lullaby will be for me and Stanley.  We broke for an hour lunch...and Brian and I went to a nearby restaurant.  The beginning of our lunch was me asking..."OK...who said 'Dealing with her attitude'?"  He went through each of the 10 issues and told me which guy had the issue.  It was hilarious.  We basically dissected the whole first portion and went back.

The second half of the class was basically when the baby gets here: Learning to hold the baby, Changing the baby, and Swaddling.  The instructor looked at me and said, "Well some of you just look like natural mommy's!"  I decided that was my GOLD STAR for the day.  The lady across from me couldn't change a diaper...and swaddling was NOT her strong point.  Her husband kept correcting her.  Throughout the whole day of learning, these people had such a look of worry and uncertainty on their faces.  I just approached everything with confidence.  Brian has done all this before so he was the most skilled man...and like usual....he did everything in record time.  Although, I think I'm better at holding a baby! 

The class was pretty informational, but I felt I knew the majority of the stuff.  The only thing I didn't enjoy was watching two video's of women giving birth.  I don't know why I  have to see that.  I will NEVER have that view...EVER!! I will be feeling it...not looking at it.  And why...oh why ... do they have to show the most unattractive females giving birth?  I can't relate to some frazzled lady that looks like she won a hairy beaver contest.  I, of course, was making comments the whole time to Brian.  Needless to say, he was a little more mature than I was.  He waited until we left to bust on the video's. 

All in all, it was a good class.  It made me feel more confident about what I already knew...and I did learn a couple of things!  I new I was mentally prepared for everything, but this just ensured me that I was ready.  It confirmed my readiness.  (I'm talking about readiness for labor....not having a baby.  I was born to have children.... the readiness was there before I got pregnant).  I'm sure as the big day approaches I'll start to freak out a bit.  Hopefully, I will be able to stay focused.   

My Brush With Death...

I almost had a brush with death today!!  Okay, maybe not death...but serious injury!! 

I finally got over my 6 day migraine, so I was feeling sooo great!  I wanted to get out of the house and at least run some errands....aanndd  shop for Stanley.  Shopping for Stanley makes everything much MUCH better in life.  Okay, so I bought him some cute stuff at Baby Gap... and decided to head to the grocery store to get a few items (milk, bread, etc). 

SO...  I park my car and start walking into the grocery store.  I get up to the crosswalk into the grocery, and the car to my left stopped for me.  I did have the right of way...since I'm a pregnant pedestrian and all!  So, the car to my right is still rolling along, but the guy was driving slowly.  I sometimes drive slowly when someone is crossing the street too.... no reason to stop when you are somewhat far away.  HOWEVER, I always stop when I get near someone.  OK... so I pass the car on my left... no issue.  I notice the car traveling on my right is STILL ROLLING!  I assume this idiot is going to stop for me...since everyone else had noticed the fat pregnant woman waddling along.  I look over to my right...and DUDE ISN'T GOING TO STOP!  I tried to hurry as fast as I could across the street, which at this point isn't that damn fast.  AND the old F*CKBAG was within an inch (or less) of hitting my right leg!  I screamed, "Are you gonna f*cking see me or what?!?!"  Clearly.... he didn't even see me!!!  I quickly turned around in disbelief.  I couldn't believe that guy didn't see me.  WELL....this guy had to be 90 years old....with a handicapped tag hanging from his rear-view mirror.  This idiot shouldn't be driving.


Three boy-scouts were outside of the grocery and three of their fathers.  They were selling something...I was too frazzled to notice.  The men came running over... they couldn't believe that old man didn't see me.  One guy said, "Even after you yelled, I swear he never saw you."  They were all stunned that this old fart just NEVER saw me...even though it appeared he was looking right at me.  It's like he looked right through me.  As all the folks stood there in shock outside the grocery, I'm pretty sure we all thought the same thing.  SOMEONE upstairs HAD to be looking out for me and Stanley cakes.  Had he hit me....OMG... lord would have to have mercy on his soul.  Honestly, if he would have hit me, he probably wouldn't have even realized it....or his dumbass would have pushed on the gas in his confused state.  It could have been a very bad accident.  AND...if something would have happened to my sweet baby boy, that old man would be living his last hours....cause I already know myself or someone in my family would have shot him.  (AND...I don't mean shot in the head.  I mean shot in the legs and allowed him to bleed out in pain). 


So... after all that, I continued that task at hand...grocery shopping.  I was completely still in shock at what had just happened.  I called my mom immediately to tell her my brush with the old f*ckbag.  As I was shopping and complaining about the old piece of dirt, I see an old man on a RASCAL (ya know...the riding shopping carts for the elderly and disabled).  It was the guy that almost killed me!!!  AND....he took his rascal and ran right into a fully stacked shelf.  He ran into the shelf so hard... food fell off.  I couldn't believe my eyes....WHAT THE F*CK IS WRONG WITH THIS OLD PIECE OF DIRT?!?!


As I left the grocery, one of the boy-scout dads walked me across the street....STILL in disbelief of what he saw.  I told him, "That man should not be driving!  He is gonna kill someone."  I loaded my car up and left.  I see the old fart get into his car and start driving VERY SLOWLY away.  I pulled behind him and got his license plate number...I contemplated calling 911.  BUT...here was my mental struggle... is this an emergency??  I mean he ALMOST hit me, but he didn't actually hit me.  My whole thing was.... this man could possible kill someone.  What if a child had been walking across the street??  Or an elderly woman?  They wouldn't have been as lucky as I was.  I still didn't know if I should call the police.  Lord knows this man should NOT be driving.  I was praying a cop was in the vicinity...so I could stop and tell him to follow him (just so he could see this old man's driving skills).  I wasn't about to follow this old man very long...as he swerved all over the road.  It simply wasn't safe for me or my child to drive near him.  So, I stepped on the gas and my Jag got me the hell out of there.  I do regret not calling the authorities now.  I'm so afraid this guy is going to kill someone.  I still don't know what I could or should have done.  I've been struggling with it for hours....

Irrational Occasionally!

So, last week I posted a rant on facebook about how I was sooo ready to move from TN already.  A lot of people contacted me wanting to know why?!!?  They wanted to know WHAT HAPPENED?!?  Okay, I thought I would let non-mother's into the wonderful world of pregnancy. 

I got up Wednesday morning thinking I would take the trash out...ya know, because Thursday is "trash day."  I didn't feel like doing it first thing in the morning...and besides... I had all day to do it.  SO... around noon... I see the TRASH MEN picking up the neighbors trash!!! I sent Brian a text wanting to know what was going on!!!  (Side note: Brian was out of town...in California for work).  He sent me text back saying "trash day" is Wednesday.  CRAP!!  I totally got the wrong day.  I had a serious meltdown.  Brian told me I shouldn't take out the trash, because he didn't want me carrying or pulling a heavy trashcan.  I see his point, but damn....I'm not that fragile.  (I tend to think I can do more than pregnant women are supposed to be doing).  ANYWAY...
I basically wanted to move because THE TRASH MEN CAME ON THE CORRECT DAY.  THAT is what hormones do to pregnant women.  At the time, I thought it was a completely rational reason to move immediately.  Now, I think it's silly, but whatever... I had a moment. 

So...when you see me raging over something on facebook, just calm down.  I'm a crazy person most days.  I will have a second home in Florida, but I swear I'm not permanently moving there.  I do think I will have one more major move within the next couple of years, but it won't be because the trash men came on the correct day.  :) My husband is beyond successful, so a move would be due to his occupation.  Lesson is: Sam is hormonal and irrational occasionally... don't take my rants too seriously!